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Tuesday, October 27, 2015

I just said to my dog, in a kind of aggressively happy voice as he was semi-asleep on the sofa, "Hey there, buddy!" and he flinched as if I was, like, yelling at him? I think I came at him a little too hot. I didn't mean it. He's wearing a pumpkin dog shirt for Halloween. In other news, why do I even have this website + a presence on every social media? Feels really meaningless rn. Like I could just post this on Facebook. Why not? What's the point? What am I doing?

Monday, October 26, 2015

FOR EXAMPLE




On Saturday night, I watched a horrible football game on my deck and got drunk with my dog

The night sort of got progressively worse for the RU collegiate football squad and also for myself. I counted ten alcoholic beverages in consumed in total, which is four too many im... The TV-on-deck experiment was a rousing success, however. I can't get the ABC signal to come in via the air antennae inside, and the Watch ESPN channel is the flakiest of all my internet feeds via the Roku. So this was a major win-win. I will probably set this up again for the NBA Finals / any other ABC program I want to watch live (weather permitting).

Thursday, October 22, 2015

As a self-identifying "alt" (alternative), I feel it's safe to say my life would've been different if I had gone to the Alternative Middle Years school. My middle years were so less alternative than I desired.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

An alternate take on the instantly famous Jose Bautista bat flip

When I worked for an oil shipping company ~8 years ago, I would spend my time on the internet exclusively going down Wikipedia rabbit holes. I would just hit "random article" and click links that interested me. I would do this for hours at a time. I think I felt safe on those webpages because they were 'educational' and it was just the one site, so if they were in fact checking my internet history it wouldn't look as bad or something. I later moved onto rss than Twitter than rss again as my preferred content consumption feeds but now I'm wondering if the Wikipedia model wasn't actually the best way. I dig the chance aspect which allows for the learning of things you wouldn't ever have otherwise. I actually just downloaded the Wikipedia app so wish me luck. 

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Monday, October 12, 2015

What if that dentist actually didn't kill Cecil the Lion and he just has him hidden in some basement somewhere (Canada?) and he is training him to ride like a horse and then one day––out of the freaking blue––he announces a big parade. People will be naturally interested in this parade because it's like "why is the lion-killing dentist throwing a parade?" So everyone is tuned into the parade and, lo and behold, there's Cecil, alive and well, with the dentist mounted on his back with a huge smile on his face, throwing out free dental floss to the raucous crowd.
PERSONAL TERRORISM IS THE SEXI(E)ST FORM OF TERRORISM

Friday, October 9, 2015

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This content is exactly what it says it is

Thursday, October 8, 2015