K E Y:  ✄= art ✎= lit ♪= music ✪= video;  = highly recommended content

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

🐼 Just a little message for the haters 🐼

....No further comment

Welcome to my new website, Johny Crottube.

Rest Rooms → / Birds ←


Monday, January 29, 2018

Friday, January 26, 2018

I know Google is a progressive company and all but celebrating the life of Heaven’s Gate cult leader, "Do," is taking it a bit far; don't you think?

Thursday, January 25, 2018


Some backstory here? Why not.

I thought it would be funny to show off a dumb video of me singing one of my acapella song creations on a cracked iPhone 4––which, at this point, are automatic reflexes and more of a nuisance than anything else, but I digress––and then I thought it would be funnier if I put something random and creepy on the screen of my iMac like so it seemed that it was just something I happened to be looking at when I decided to do this dumb thing, and my initial choice was tentacle porn (a nod to this) and I actually recorded one with tentacle porn in the background (just a screen featuring the initial results of a google image search for "tentacle porn") but I second-guessed myself, thinking that was too gross, and went with 9/11 instead. Voila. THAT HOW THE SAUSAGE GET MADE Y'ALL.

This site is up 2 date y'all.

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Who am I but a man willing to put his money where his mouth is: The best thing in Star Wars: The Last Jedi was... the porgs.
Whoa can't forget to give "Me" a happy birthday on the sixth!

🤷 ret·con /retkän/🤷

here, via my insta, i present a short film abt posting, ft. various utep collegiate athletics football squad helmets.
Let the soccer boys play to a tie, he said, with a sigh

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Check out my new music 🎤 video 📼 collection

jfc lol wha?

I'm going to rapidfire start putting these puppies on YT and here. And then, eventually, here. And the: the future™. The reckoning is nigh.
Be Aware.. Be Weary.. something is coming..

In praise of VK

VK is Russian Facebook. But it is really so much more.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Here's some more background into my dealings with this thing.

January 22, 2018 at 02:34PM

A long time ago in this galaxy wish I was so, so there....
Not sure what this or will be but it is something I made...

How to install custom fonts on #MicrosoftWord

Sunday, January 21, 2018

So this is where I'm at now. Here's my resubmitted album art to that service, mentioned earlier. Apparently my "first attempt" was both too blurry (umm, art? ever heard of it?) and got flagged for having words (any words!) that weren't a) the EXACT title of the release and b) the EXACT name of the band I registered––in this case: "a THE PIZZA PUPPIES release" instead of just "THE PIZZA PUPPIES" ...i guess:(((

It's frustrating because this stuff is so dumb to begin with. I just want an avenue to get it to these outlets because that would be even dumber. And I am shocked and dismayed when my quest for more dumbness is thwarted!

Ŧเภคllא ς๏๓เภ'เภt๏ Ŧ๏ςยร–My 👎

Brady is going to win the super bowl this year b/c it will be his 6th and 6 is the number of the beast; Brady is satan is what i'm sayin nbd.


My picks (mostly on this early game; I might post more later about the Vikes/Iggles), in four parts…

Saturday, January 20, 2018

The only L E V E L i truly aspire 2

Friday, January 19, 2018

This is the cover I submitted for this '''release''' {DJ President Trump, y'all} via a new APP-ONLY! (lol) service that, apparently, delivers your shit to ALL serving platforms with NO service fee + NO royalty %! If that seems too good to be true––ha!!––I'm wit u. We'll see...... (this is the alternative cover OF COURSE; I'd never actually do a design like this, what am I CRAZZZY??) (it's called "a THE PIZZA PUPPIES release" b/c The Pizza Puppies were the name I applied for via the app and I, obviously, thought that was appropz)

I have a (literal) 🔥🔥🔥 take on the Tom Brady hand injury

So, it was super weird that he wore gloves to his presser. This is true. If it was some kind of structural injury than what would gloves be hiding? Especially if he can make a fist, as has been reported. So my hot take is... that he burned his hand. (Get it? Hot?) Maybe he grabbed a castiron skillet at home or something, but that's what he's hiding: treated, bandaged burns. 🔥🔥🔥 baby! Let's go. #GloveGate
I think classifying this as "bizarre" does no justice to the sentiment behind it but what the fuck do I know.

January 19, 2018 at 10:51AM

Having some A+ 'rrhea r.n. TBH

Thursday, January 18, 2018


New band name i'm swirrrrlllling around
Catch up on the madness of the EVERYDAY SONGZ project here.
My company name is NextGen Solutions Unlimited LTD™


Well i gues 2day is THURS-DAY
I need a big, ORCA-SIZED lunch to feed that hatred lingering inside me, to shut that shit up, ya hurr?


Guess u could say its going pretty_OK 4ME ;)

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

🂽🂽🂽🂽🂽🂽🂽🂽🂽 + 🂽🂽🂽🂽🂽 + 🂽🂽🂽🂽-🂽🂽🂽

YouTube disabling low-view accounts from monetizing is kind of a b.s. movie imo. I don't see how this will combat nazism or [whatever]. I really don't. The 'wild wild west' nature of YT always made it feel like the most level playing field of the social networks, if you even want to lump it in with them. Oh well, the Facebookification of the Internet knows no limits. Say la, V.

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

My Top 5 Movies of 2017

5. The Beguiled: kind of a distant 5th at this point; I'm still catching up on most of the good ones and would assume this falls out (but based on score, I'll leave it here).

4. Brigsby Bear: a rare treat where the audacity of a wacky premise is equaled by the strength of performers/execution.

3. Nathan for You: Finding Frances: not technically a "movie" but who cares! This feature length piece is one of the most original things I've seen in awhile.

2. Phantom Thread: PTA continues his reign as the best filmmaker in the world right now; my podcast review is forthcoming.

1. Lady Bird: a classic.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Saturday, January 13, 2018

I like movies and music and other forms of art


It would interesting and nice if everyone was in a band and also an author and everyone's houses would just be music/bookshops where you could peruse their output; just by touching a physical artifact you would then magically 'own' said artifact in the digital platform of your choosing. Everything would be in the cloud and also real and we'd all really be on Cloud-9™. The End.

Friday, January 12, 2018

A lot of people are sharing the exact time they first heard the new DJPT. #Humbled :)

[released Exclusively™ via vk/RITEAID Records]

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

I can remember watching Synecdoche New York in a movie theater in Montgomery New Jersey when it came out and I was drinking some wine and I had to pee really badly during the second half of the movie. It sort of ruined it though I recall really loving the film. I'm not sure if I ever saw it again after that night. Seems funny that my first and strongest memory of it is having to pee cuz I was drinking wine in the theater. It makes me sad. We used to do that so often. Now I don't even have the opportunity to ruin movies.

Consistently surprised by the amount of stuff streaming on Amazon Unlimited.
Finally, after MySpace effed up, the semenal debut from DJ President Trump is BACK. ON. LINE. Check out the official vk™ page of Jack Smith (unaffiliated) via www.vk.com/riteaid and specifically this post here to DL/STREAM Jazz for Millennials in all its hot glory! And thx y'all for bein' a-part of this journey. We gonna keep it and also keep it on & on (ya feel?)... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
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wait what's that sound?


Enjoy the one 09 EP right here on this very website, embedded even:

Psy didn't say "CLOSE GANGNAM STYLE," did he? No. No. He said "OPPA (open) 강남스타일 (gangnam style)" as in "Open your hearts to the Lord." Yes. Yes, he did. And that is what we shall do. Oppa our hearts. Psy is Our Lord™. Gob bless.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

one 09 (coming tomorrow) is a direct response to today never happening. I am sorry that day didn't happen but I hope you like the new music project from ''local boy done good'' the 1& only ...

S T A Y _ T U N E D
I probably shouldn't be so annoyed that these songs don't play on myspace.com here in 2018 but that's where my head at. Oh well. I'll get this back online soon.
I've been writing Google reviews for some reason. You can check them all out here I think.

Oh, really?

That's a shame ;)
The native Japanese word for the color orange, だいだい色 or daidai-iro, is derived from the name of this fruit.

The 48 Star Flag

It takes two to . . .