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Monday, August 15, 2016

Come with me as we take a trip inside Joe canals liquor store in New Jersey. . .

NADDAL
NANAFAFLLL
We can defeat social media with our blogs, people. I am woodshedding many new slogans to help make this IDEA a REALITY™:
• The Future is Us: Just Blog It™
• Why do social media when blogger.com still exists?™
• Instagram? More like Nothankyoum'am!™ 
Going to listen to the new of Montreal -> the new Dinosaur Jr. albums on my run (detailed earlier if you want to try to hit me with your car). I am nothing if not a 90s boi teehee.

NBD

The ToC (table of contents) for my first "REAL_ASS" book, a short story collection called Yawns & Licks. Some of these are failed novella attempts that I'm heavily editing, others are actual, fairly long short stories (a few are over 5K words) that I'm umm also heavily editing (I suppose the distinction is moot and/or insignificant).

They're pretty old––and definitely embarrassing in many ways––but my brain thought of them and I am adamant about their having a place in this world. What they lack in value/style/(?) they easily make up for in sheer weirdness. And I appreciate them being there in that Google Drive folder. I will let them out to play soon enough. Just giving them a bath **wink wink**. (Get it? I switched to an analogy where they were like a pet or some other animal. But they're really just short stories. That's called Writing 101.)

Here is a S N E A K Y ~ P E E K Y of ¶ Numer Uno of the 2nd story, "Arris."

I look out my window. The window just seems like a random square cut out of one of the walls in a room in this house. It doesn’t seem like a real window, or a window in a considered “window” kind of way. And I see people below, mostly walking on paths. Crisscrossing on paths or otherwise. Outside this window, I see these people I will never meet. Most of the people are walking on neatly constructed stone paths. Some other people, though, they are walking on the grass. But they are merely finding their way to the same stone paths, even if they just touch a few of the stones on the stone paths on the way to where they are ultimately heading. Most likely this is what these people are doing. They are all heading somewhere. Even if somewhere is nowhere.
On Sunday morning, my family and I went to IKEA. I have mixed feelings about IKEA. For a long time, I considered myself anti-IKEA based on a fairly misguided and highly abstract principle, which is not to say one shouldn't have opinions and/or make life decisions that are based on fairly misguided and highly abstract principles. Most principles likely are! It's OK! But did you know you can get a full-ass breakfast with Dutch SWEDISH pancakes*––which looked like crepes to my eyes––and eggs and potatoes and turkey sausage for literally $2? I knew they had super cheap-ass food that was actually supposed to be decent, but I didn't know it was that cheap. So I've decided to lighten my anti-IKEA stance. I am currently pro-IKEA breakfast and pro-IKEA chachkies & knickknacks, and anti-IKEA furniture. So, for all intensive purposes, and in the grand scheme of things, I suppose I am still more anti-IKEA than pro-IKEA, their being––you know––a furniture store at the end of the day. But I think that's a cool thing about life. You can be anti- and pro-, and you can change your mind all the time. Literally who cares. One day you can be shy with the ocean and the next you can harpoon a shark with your fist.


*CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story called the pancakes "Dutch," which is just, I mean, come on now, so embarrassing. Of course IKEA is Sweden's treasure and not Holland's. I am so very ashamed of this error and it has since been fixed in the original text.
PRINCETON, NJ. SOME TIME AFTER 5PM TODAY, AUGUST THE 15th, 2016, I PLAN ON PARKING MY PORSCHE IN THE RITE AID PARKING LOT THEN DOING THIS 6.3-MILE RUN. WILL DETAIL MY MUSIC CHOICE ON TUMBLR. STAY TUNED.
BIG NEWS. Revamping/considering this project after not looking at it for a few years. I like it. Has potential. Needs tweaking but basically a -project.
I like sports, meeting new people, music/movies/entertainment and just being me.
YANKEES +111 (Bet $10.00 to Win $11.10): Hoping the young kids hit Dickey. Really hope our youth can hit the Dick hard. That's not a weird thing to write. It's just BASEBALL TALK. I'm talking about a real baseball game, this one in fact. I've put my last (imaginary) ten bucks on this, people! The soccer game tied 0-0 (shoulda parlayed the under with a TIE)! I need this!!!
My personal food brand is:🐠PESCA+66%VEGAN[otherwise]//Pizza(cheese/veg)🍕&IceCream🍦EXCEPTIONŽ4LIFE
Is there evidence that Beyoncé has a secret Snapchat account?

NO. THERE IS NOT.


FC ORENBURG

Just put $12.50 on the first half ML of a Russian professional soccer game. Orenburg is playing their third game in less than an hour and they haven't scored a goal yet all season. I got this bet at meaty +260. They're due, right? RIGHT?!

(PS. This is all part of my larger ploy to acquire enough capital to bet on football from my initial $5 free bet, which I quadrupled last night! If this puppy hits, I will have turned that into $50+ in less than 24 hours so let's do this y'all!)

I've gotten less than 33.3% of the "things" I should have received for "donating" to Kickstarter projects.


FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !!

I CAN RUN FASTER THAN MICHAEL PHELPS CAN SWIM.