Billionaire Simmons' Ring Ring Shop: Black Friday is almost here (don't settle)

The only thing left not rotting or lit on fire at his content farm, folks, are a ~half-dozen or so blind alpacas. They can be yours for the price of a working email address or _______ (barter). These are gonna fly, so run. Don't walk.

They say cargo shorts are out but nobody has said boo about cargo jorts yet so there you go. #Lifehack

TRIGGER I enjoy shopping in stores

Great Xmas gift for a loved one who is super into ping pong. In semi-related news, I am executive producing a new P.P. cassingle for the tracks "The Ping Pong Lagoon" and "Bahamas, Québec" by [REDACTED]. It's gonna be hot!!!

99% of 100% of the humans' last words on earth = "lettuce"

LOL 😆

"Neither the 49ers nor the Bears completed a pass in the first quarter of Sunday’s 26-6 Chicago win, something that hadn’t happened in the NFL in 28 years." [Source.]

'mashup' idea: "ICE ICE LADY"

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METHOD: Take Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" but when you get to the "baby" line in the chorus, insert Styx's "LADY!" from their hit song, "Lady."

RESULTS: Collect unknowable but vast profits.

Trebuchet Poem #1

musically • of the computer flutes • we recharge bits • fit for • like melting butter • a desecrated stay • venerable and unstable •  totally on/off • the species is already extinct • put the vegans in the trash can • blacked-out humans with tattered umbrellas • swept off their feet • into the cloud • to google • again