I like the little "dome" icon that Yahoo! added to the fantasy football website this year. Cute.

w h a t _ a _ w o r l d _ w e _ l i v e _ i n _ r i g h t _ ? _ s o _ m u c h _ w o n d e r _ & _ p o s s i b i l i t y _ ?

#JerseyStrong

Get it?

BSSDNJULL

I am a sandwich.

ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN THE TIME OF YEAR WHEN I RE-SUBSCRIBE TO THE FANTASY FOOTBALL PODCAST CAN YOU FEEL THE EXCITEMENT?!?!?!

asdafj

Wish I had the strength of Anthony Weiner's commitment to sending Anthony Weiner weiner pictures on the internet for [insert a thing worthy of having a strong commitment for/to (that isn't dick pix)].

Jafasa

NEW CHARACTER IN DEVELOPENT: BART SHRIMPSON (IF BART SIMPSON––VERY FAMOUS CHARACTER––WAS SHRIMP).

NJUALDAaa

YO CHECK IT OUT GONNA POST A VIDEO OF A GOAT TO MY YOUTUBE IN ABOUT 3 MINUTES. THAT GOAT VIDEO BOUT TO DROP, SON. YALL READY?

NASDASLpp

NASDULL

There's good SIN URGE #E in the numero 333 !

seems ridiculous that I post QUOTE-AUHN-QUOTE *shelfies* on this blog, (from TIME 2 TIME) but that is the point HOVA doing it (ifyadintNO) !

I ran and I ran

7+ miles in this heat up and around Temple University. Felt good to flush my body but I'm drained. (INSIDER INFO CONTENT: I am almost left the house in a black shirt taboot!)

SQUIRREL DEMON X

This age of prolific shaming MUST STOP!

[I MEAN THE SHAMING OF PROLIFIC PEOPLE NOT SHAMING IN GENERAL, GO ON SHAMING CERTAIN PEOPLE I'M SURE SOME OF THEM DESERVE IT BUT STOP PICKING ON THE ARTISTS WHO MAKE A LOT OF STUFF'

SIGNED SEALED -NOT YET DELIVERED- BUT, YOURZ |-Ô-| COLLAGE PROJECT MENTIONED HERE IS ON ITS WAY :-)

You gotta get clean or die cleaning.

"Aggressive Pursuit of a Great Life" 

I SAW THIS WRITTEN ON WHAT LOOKED LIKE A VISION BOARD ABOVE SOMEBODY'S DESK IN A SORTA MAKESHIFT OFFICE SPACE WHEN I WALKED MY DOG EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON.

NUadskl

REBOOTED THE OLE WEBSITE SIDE PANEL:

Specifically the "PROJECTS" area; what used to be a very simple (but long) HTML list is now a dropdown menu. I am very big into site symmetry and the total number of posts on the page needing to ~= the 'length' of this ever-growing list, and––frankly––it was causing the site to load slowly so I opted for this old school dropdown. I hope you like, appreciate and understand it. I love you.

Post-etc.

Just a little 'slice of life' footage for you, folks. I talk to the neighborhood hot pavement man.

FBI New York ‏? @NewYorkFBI

˙

˙

˙

Measells for a NEO-BURDEN 

U N O F F I C I A L _ C O N S E N T ™

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˙˙˙˙˙˙˙

˙˙˙˙˙˙˙

the restless maybe serve their masters well ?

FECKLESS EXCITER//WRECKLESS DEATH

Very excited to announce my new off-Broadway musical, GeoTrack the Dads! coming to the Thad LeBlume Memorial Theatre on 213th St. & Rat Blvd.

SHAM CONNECTIONS

bnnads

Why Do You Look Like Your Dog?

I LIED

In this viral video vlog I posted earlier, I said I was going to go to the gym stairmaster today (and finish watching American Ultra) but when I was running to the gym, I was too into the new Wes Borland solo record to stop running so I wound up just running ~5 miles and taking a lot of pictures in Kensington instead. I will probably finish it tomorrow I guess. It's a total mess of a movie btw but I don't hate it. Topher Grace should've been nominated for an Oscar.

TWITTER IDEA:  Every day or every couple days, I take a screenshot video of all my tweets, post it on YouTube or something, then delete all the tweets.

JUST A QUICK REMINDER THAT––NO MATTER WHAT––I AM NOT GONNA EVER STOP MICROBLOGGING ON THIS PLATFORM. MICROBLOGGING IS IN MY BLOOD AND IT'S A WAY OF LIFE. IT'S MY CALLING. SHALOM.

Jesus christ Gary Sánchez homered again !

Forgotten dream??

This Story Was Originally Written/Published on 03.19.11

🔺 warning: it is from the realm of dreams 🔺

I am on a plane. This plane is definitely crashing. But am I the cause? A few moments early I accidentally hit a button while looking out the window, and it seems to have caused this. I am with a friend, I think it's my friend Brendan. He says something about going to upstate New York, maybe. I did not know this is where we were going. The plane is far too low to the ground. I momentarily feel that I am going to die and it feels peaceful. However, out of nowhere, a runway appears. We touch ground. The pilot's voice announces that he is sorry we had to do an emergency landing but that we should still hold on, that something is still wrong. The plane is no longer on the runway. We are in the woods and then a maybe part of a very rural town with lots of non-symmetrical architecture. Everything is a blur. Are we dying? Is this too much? Eventually we stop moving. I don't know how, but I am magically outside of the plane, which is now a wrecked piece of metal stuck to a giant slab of concrete. A horde of townspeople or airport employees come running towards the plane. They are screaming for the people inside to stay calm, but they are so panicky and excited that they sound like they are speaking in tongues. They seem to all be wearing navy blue jumpsuits. I want to help. Somehow a blue and yellow, flaccid tube shoots out of one of the windows. Its material and style remind me of an outdated windbreaker jacket. It is not dissimilar to one of those dancings things they fill with air outside of used car lots. People enter into this thing one at a time and it becomes an unwilling cocoon. They squirm and need help to free themselves. I do not know what has happened to the people in the matching navy blue jumpsuits. It seems I am alone. I help a few people out of the tube. It feels like this thing is a womb, that this plane is a gigantic woman, that this is childbirth. I am the doctor. Then I hear the sounds of another body emerging but this time it is different. The lump at the bottom of the tube is small and not moving. I look down the sheath and see a baby. It is difficult but I pluck the baby out and lay her on the grass. I am concerned about this baby.

Eventually, I don't remember how, I am carrying the baby through a hospital, down cavernous halls, aimlessly and without purpose. The halls are unnaturally wide and tall. It feels like it is a hospital in a very depressed area, everything is stagnant and dirty. The baby girl's eyes are a kind of blue that is not exist in real eyes in real life. I must have put her in a shoebox because that is what she is in, but I don't remember doing that. I stop a few people and tell them what happened, why I am carrying a strange baby in a shoebox, but no one is of any help. They seem irritated by my asking. It seems like this hospital is nearly vacant. I can hear echos. I am terrified but oddly happy that I have this new baby in a shoebox in my arms. She is all smiles and baby laughing.

Some amount of time passes and I see my girlfriend outside one of the rooms. In real life my girlfriend loves babies, has very recently become an aunt, but she acts indifferent towards me and the baby, maybe even a little pissed off. I am confused. I am losing control. It is becoming like the crashing plane again. We get into a fight and insult one another. I must have put the shoebox down. It gets heated. It is the worst fight we have ever had. Where is the shoebox? Eventually, suddenly, we are naked. And we begin to have sex. I don't know what has become of the baby. I don't know what is going on. I wake up.

#PrayforEmma. #PrayforWhoeverTheHellYouWannaPrayFor. #PrayforAthruZ.

join my gang ?

DEREK JETER
DEREK JETER
DEREK JETER
DEREK JETER
DEREK JETER
DEREK JETER
DEATH SQUAD
DEREK JETER
DEREK JETER

The perils of being a ball player. This spider was just chilling inside a picture frame.

🌺 N u d e  F l o w e r s 🌺

PUT YOUR CONTENT OUT THERE ON TOP OF ALL THE OTHER CONTENT.

EVERYTHING IS MEANINGFUL/MEANINGLESS.

REGRETS ARE GREAT I DO THEM EVERYDAY.

DON'T STOP NOW.

Remodeled my basement and everything looks GREAT except for this stray pair of socks and my binge-eating.

APPARENTLY GOOGLE/CHROME/YOUTUBE CRACKED DOWN ON EXTENSIONS THAT LET YOU DOWNLOAD VIDEOS. OH WELL. FOUND ONE ON SAFARI THAT WORKS GREAT IN LIKE TWO SECONDS SO AIN'T NO THANG.

<3 STARTING CHATS W/ FRIENDS ON fb ;)

Created a new facebook acct strictly because a lot of times I will look at bands/artists on there who basically use it as their 'normal website'* and luckily my preferred username was available! https://www.facebook.com/fhsdhdfhgerseth34566wqrwerer3r3yrhdhedyefyr737t4t8

*pro tip for bands: don't do this

💿 B I G 💿 D A T A 💿 D A D 💿 P A R A D E 💿

Okay?

#LIFEHACK: socks go on your feet not your butts. 

IT IS HERE. IT IS NOW. MY NEW VISUAL ALBUM. (♪+⚭ = GO) STEAM NOVOSIBIRSK EXCLUSIVELY ON APPLE MUSIC RIGHT OVER HERE.

MY NEW VISUAL ALBUM Novosibirsk DROPS IN ~ONE HOUR

I did a soundless screen recording of this music video collection and the results were hilarious! Watch here. (In other news, AD BLOCK seems to have stopped working on YouTube mysteriously.)

Slap an apple pie

Give it a try 🍰

What if Bon Iver's backing band was called The Beaver Bandits? Bon Iver & The Beaver Bandits would sell more tickets than just Bon Iver imo. Thanks for reading this website, one of the premiere places online for theoretical Bon Iver content.

sometimes, through darkness, a light

This is happening

Conceptual double album about understanding and connecting with other humans.

I am a grand thinker of thoughts and I need to go to sleep.

What is "sleep?"

JEFF WEAVER GETTIN SHELLED ALRIGHT 🐚 [Source.]

This is the best thing I've ever done.

I like old iPhone apps where the interface looks like it hasn't been updated since iPhone 4. Just my 2¢ folks.

The here are many ways to display your patriotism. A business slogan is a terrific option.

I don't and never will fuck with social media (again)

SAY IT WITH ME NOW.  WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I think this a pretty good album cover if you're gonna make an album called 2 Bananas (imo).

SDAVBJULL

I AM Primarily dedicated to all things #TUNAGANG 2016 ?

MEET THE BOLOGNA HOMIES, FOR THE FIRST TIME AND HOPEFULLY NOT THE LAST:

GWINK, SNELKY & WOB!

YOUR NEW BFFS*

(*BIG FUZZY FOOT SANDWICHES)

Ugh I meant to write yellow "shirt."

Tomorrow I get $10 free dollas for some reason to bet on sports in my sb dot ag account so I am pretty pumped abt that. Yanks now 6 full games out of the last WC. Pretty much need to sweep the Angels this weekend.

ALL ALBUMS CAN BE VISUAL ALBUMS IF YOU WANT THEM TO BE –OLD PIZZA PUPPIES PROVERB

AS PROMISED

so i gave me self a haircut ...

Special announcement. . . . .. .......

TB at the G?

Sure why not? Even toilets die you know? 🚽 + ☠ = FOREVER

I Rule the iRulu

I just posted my movie review for the 1990 version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This is the line/part I said I would find and do another post about as I was recording that. So here it is. This is that post/content. You can find so many amazing things on the internet to do content with you don't need to make anything for yourself. It's great.

SWEAT BEAD SELFIE. We went sans A/C for most of the day here at the home office so when I got back from my run I was a'sweatin! (as they say) Took this selfie of the sweat. Nice selfie.

NASDHADSULL

HNSADLI

g o n n a 
 g o
  j o g
   u n d e r
    t h e
     b e n
      f r a n k l i n
       b r i d g e

i n
 a b o u t
  ~1 0
   m i n u t e s
  
        i f 
         a n y o n e
          w a n t s
            t o
             t h r o w 
              a
               w a t e r
                 b a l l o o n
                   a t
                    m e

👀

I'VE HAD IT UP TO MY EYEBALLS WITH THIS G.D. "OTHER" TAKING UP ALL MY STORAGE ON THE OLE IPHONE (THAT'S WHY I DID THE EYEBALLS EMOJI AS THE CONTENT POST TITLE, FOLKS––PRO-TIP FOR YA). I TOOK SEVERAL PHOTOS AND VIDEOS ON MY WALK WITH MY DOG A LITTLE WHILE AGO AND NOW THEY'RE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND AND I'M TICKED OFF I TELL YA. TICKED OFF! STEVE JOBS IS AN ASSHOLE.

UPDATE: Restarted my phone and now the pictures are there IDK what happened. Still miffed about that 5GB of "Other" tho.

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C

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C

K

T

H

E

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M

A

G

E

time to put a wrap on this project once and for all: AA

Love that Sánchez/Judge already batting 4/5 in the lineup. Got $10 on NYY +110 as well, FYI. Score is 3-2, bottom 4.

I'm making an ebook with this program called Sigil.

IT IS INSANE HOW GLITCHY iBOOKS/iBOOKS STORE ARE | I AM TRYING TO SORT OUT HOW MY EBOOKS ARE GONNA BE DISTRIBUTED AND I LITERALLY CAN'T GET THIS SHIT TO WORK AT ALL | IT FREEZES ON THE SCREEN ON THE LEFT (CLICK ON THAT SHIT TO SEE FOR YOURSELF, FUCKING GHOST-PAGE RIGHT?) + NONE OF THE LINKS ARE CLICKABLE | VERY FRUSTRATED Y'ALLZ | VERY | UGH

NADSSAULL

My foot finally feeling better today :
But I overslept and feel groggy :(
But groggy in kind of a good way :|
I feel creative-groggy; it's good :)
But I am super all-over-the-place :(

This is the first attempt at doing surveillance-style art videos on/of myself, but it was mostly just me fumbling with the iRuku tablet (knockoff iPad) and dropping it a few times.

Tomorrow, I give myself a haircut

^{[as promised]}

I STILL NEED TO FIND A BETTER TO-DO LIST SYSTEM | WASTING TOO MUCH TIME | FIND MYSELF SCATTERED TOO OFTEN | THINGS I DID TODAY (INCOMPLETE LIST): TWO GIFS FOR SALE FOR 33¢ (HERE/HERE); EDITED ~4K WORDS OF A SHORT STORY / FAILED NOVEL ATTEMPT CALLED "LAMBERTON;" BON IVER REMIX; YESTERDAY'S DICK COMMA (I AM ALWAYS ONE DAY BEHIND IT SEEMS); BREAKFAST VLOG; BET ON MLB; [ETC.] | I AM GOING TO EAT DINNER HERE TONIGHT | THEN WATCH THE FINAL 60MIN OF THE ORIGINAL TMNT MOVIE AT THE GYM | THEN ... TO-DO LIST TIME?

BASEBALL BET:

BALTIMORE ORIOLES +106

Y Gallardo

over

BOSTON RED SOX

E Rodriguez

Bet $11.10 to Win $11.77

Just getting around to / into the habit of U N S U B S C R I B I N G from random crap emails I get. Feel very liberated. Feel like a baby seal only I got the club motherfucker. And opposable thumbs and Usain Bolt's legs. Imagine that: a baby seal with opposable thumbs and Usain Bolt's legs. What would that look like? Find out, tonight at 11.

Bon Iver's “22 (OVER S∞∞N)” + “10 d E A T h b R E a s T ⚄ ⚄” are pretty good tracks and you can listen to them here but damn if they don't sound even better played at the same time.

the rumours are true: it is time for lunch (lunchtime).

You can check out a video of me making a savory vegan oatmeal dish (perfect for breakfast OR any time really) at my Tumblr presence: shrimpkardashian. This is just part of my campaign to MAKE FOOD GREAT AGAIN.

Come with me as we take a trip inside Joe canals liquor store in New Jersey. . .

NADDAL

NANAFAFLLL

We can defeat social media with our blogs, people. I am woodshedding many new slogans to help make this IDEA a REALITY™:

• The Future is Us: Just Blog It™
• Why do social media when blogger.com still exists?™
• Instagram? More like Nothankyoum'am!™ 

Going to listen to the new of Montreal -> the new Dinosaur Jr. albums on my run (detailed earlier if you want to try to hit me with your car). I am nothing if not a 90s boi teehee.

NBD

The ToC (table of contents) for my first "REAL_ASS" book, a short story collection called Yawns & Licks. Some of these are failed novella attempts that I'm heavily editing, others are actual, fairly long short stories (a few are over 5K words) that I'm umm also heavily editing (I suppose the distinction is moot and/or insignificant).

They're pretty old––and definitely embarrassing in many ways––but my brain thought of them and I am adamant about their having a place in this world. What they lack in value/style/(?) they easily make up for in sheer weirdness. And I appreciate them being there in that Google Drive folder. I will let them out to play soon enough. Just giving them a bath **wink wink**. (Get it? I switched to an analogy where they were like a pet or some other animal. But they're really just short stories. That's called Writing 101.)

Here is a S N E A K Y ~ P E E K Y of ¶ Numer Uno of the 2nd story, "Arris."

I look out my window. The window just seems like a random square cut out of one of the walls in a room in this house. It doesn’t seem like a real window, or a window in a considered “window” kind of way. And I see people below, mostly walking on paths. Crisscrossing on paths or otherwise. Outside this window, I see these people I will never meet. Most of the people are walking on neatly constructed stone paths. Some other people, though, they are walking on the grass. But they are merely finding their way to the same stone paths, even if they just touch a few of the stones on the stone paths on the way to where they are ultimately heading. Most likely this is what these people are doing. They are all heading somewhere. Even if somewhere is nowhere.

On Sunday morning, my family and I went to IKEA. I have mixed feelings about IKEA. For a long time, I considered myself anti-IKEA based on a fairly misguided and highly abstract principle, which is not to say one shouldn't have opinions and/or make life decisions that are based on fairly misguided and highly abstract principles. Most principles likely are! It's OK! But did you know you can get a full-ass breakfast with Dutch SWEDISH pancakes*––which looked like crepes to my eyes––and eggs and potatoes and turkey sausage for literally $2? I knew they had super cheap-ass food that was actually supposed to be decent, but I didn't know it was that cheap. So I've decided to lighten my anti-IKEA stance. I am currently pro-IKEA breakfast and pro-IKEA chachkies & knickknacks, and anti-IKEA furniture. So, for all intensive purposes, and in the grand scheme of things, I suppose I am still more anti-IKEA than pro-IKEA, their being––you know––a furniture store at the end of the day. But I think that's a cool thing about life. You can be anti- and pro-, and you can change your mind all the time. Literally who cares. One day you can be shy with the ocean and the next you can harpoon a shark with your fist.


*CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story called the pancakes "Dutch," which is just, I mean, come on now, so embarrassing. Of course IKEA is Sweden's treasure and not Holland's. I am so very ashamed of this error and it has since been fixed in the original text.