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Friday, September 30, 2016

NASdll
i find of kings of leon so bad/boring that i won't even check out their music nowadays to see how shitty it is
What the heck are you even talking about, Bon Iver.

JEFF 6

Your boy, the internet's own red-hot digital square, Jeff.

adsbasda


Here is my BIG NCAAF football play tonight. Stay tuned to hear me talk about my wild teaser win last evening, only on my hit Twitter video sports talk show, SportzBlast.



In other news: Why the F can't I wager on the Rutgers moneyline vs. Ohio State tomorrow? This is bullshit. Gimme that # at +1500 and let's do this.

V i r a l
NOMORE
V I R A L _ H U M A N S

UNITE

I WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND I REALIZED I SLEPT A LITTLE LONGER/BETTER THAN I HAD THE LAST FEW NIGHTS AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS GREAT. IT WAS STILL RAINING. I WENT DOWNSTAIRS TO GET MY DAUGHTER OUT OF HER CRIB. SHE HAS BEEN A+ EXCITED TO GET OUT OF THAT CRIB THIS WEEK. VERY CUTE. MY WIFE MADE HER WAFFLES WITH PEANUT BUTTER AND SPRINKLES ON THEM. SHE ALSO ATE MOST OF A BANANA. IT WAS RAINING, SO I DROVE HER TO DAYCARE INSTEAD OF WALKING. AFTERWARDS I WENT TO THE GYM WHERE I FINISHED WATCHING THE MOVIE SELMA. THEN I WENT TO THE STORE TO GET FOOD AND BEER. THEN I WENT TO WAWA TO GET COFFEE. THEN I CAME BACK HOME. I MADE THIS VIRAL VIDEO. I WANT TO BE A VIRAL HUMAN AND I WANT MY LIFE TO BE A STREAM OF VIRAL VIDEOS. YOU CAN DO THIS TOO. WE CAN ALL BE V.H.'S AND WE CAN ALL LIVE IN THIS NEW VIRAL UNIVERSE. LET'S WATCH FOOTBALL AND DRINK BEER AND MAKE CONTENT FOREVER.

I know more about football than 6 of the 7 CBS Sports football experts.


I am currently in 5,902nd place picking every NFL game straight up. I'm like 8,000 spots in front of Boomer Esiason so he can suck that D ✌️
[Source.]

Thursday, September 29, 2016



UNCLE JEFFY IS ON A COLD STREAK AND NEEDS THIS BADLY!


Wednesday, September 28, 2016

nasdasdh
F I N A L L Y
Reddit scares the hell out of me, but the one page I check in with frequently is this one which just links to full movies on YouTube, which I then download and save on an external hard drive. Don't judge me. Sometimes I get some A+ insight and commentary from the greats, like squidfartz.

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

SDACJADFasf
We need to upgrade this saying …

Kill em with KINDNESS

… Nah …

How 'bout …

Kill em with CONTENT

Oh yea.

I just did a pretty sweet Twitter upgrade meme

Not to brag.
S/O 2 ALL MY FELLO B.B.'s OUT THERE. SU?

How is this not Google's responsibility?

Like why don't you sue Google who owns YouTube for not making their site in such a way where this type of ripping is impossible? I'm not Albie Eins but this seems doable right? [Source.]

ALSO: I CAN APPRECIATE/UNDERSTAND IF YOU THINK MY LOGIC IS FLAWED ON THIS TOPIC. BUT THESE LABELS CLEARLY HAVE DEALS WORKED OUT WITH GOOGLE/YT (YOUTUBE RED, PLAY, ETC) SO YOU THINK THERE WOULD BE STRONGER MEASURES IN PLACE ON THEIR END TO AT LEAST TRY TO STOP THIS "RIPPI'" FROM A'HAPPENING. MY $0.02, MY 2¢, MY TWO CENTS. SHALOM.

Monday, September 26, 2016

NOOOOOO!!!! had 10,000 dollars on "Clinton, stage right."
The Ringer really burying the lede here, which is:
The struggling San Fran Giants sign basketball star Kevin Durant
I bet this band doesn't even like sports all that much. I bet it's an 'ironic' band name*.

*Not trying to be a H8 here, folks. I actually think it's a solid B/B+ band name. Just making an observation.

The Top 10 Things to Do in San Francisco (Classic San Fran)


1. Visit the Fuller House House (very full, very house-like)
2. Get a head wound at Candlestick Park
3. EARTHQUAKE! (love to shake my bod)
4. The Golden Gay Bridge (ppl forget: SF = 1st gay-friendly city in USA)
5. Crabcakes… mmmm, delish
6. Smoke a doob at the Tomb of Jerry Garcia ©
7. Time-travel down at the Fisherman's WARP
8. Redwoods trees the size of you can drive a car through wow such a big tree
9. Sourdough bread? More like SourDO bread, if you ask me
10. Tour the birthplace of Kevin Durant
TRACKLIST FOR MY NEW EP, AAA: FREE JAZZ INSPIRED BY SULLY SULLENBERGER, WHICH COMES OUT IN ELEVEN MINUTES (GIVE OR TAKE A DECADE):

• A PACK OF ALPACAS
• APOCADIX
• AMOR ALLUSION 
🐬🐬🐬🐬 Dolphins are one of the sea's greatest treasures. Do your best to respect the dolphins. Just by thinking about dolphins and saying out loud (maybe in a whisper, just to yourself), "dolphins are chill as fuck." That's just one thing you can do. I'm posting about dolphins on my blog, which is arguably a better thing to do, but it's not a competition. Thanks for checking out WWW.MyAMERI.CA and "Have a great day in the USA™." 🐬🐬🐬🐬

Where have all the CONTENT gone?

BAD JOB FILLING THIS CONTENT STREAM OVER THE WEEKEND. THAT'S ON ME, FOLKS (JEFF, IT'S ON JEFF). FARMS DON'T TAKE BREAKS AND THIS CONTENT FARM IS NO EXCEPTION. MY DEEPEST SINCERE APOLOGIES. A SORRY FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA (AND MY HEART). YOU WILL GET BETTER CONTENT. TODAY. NOW. AND ALWAYS.

A sports bet to focus on that is not related to how Hillbilly Kingpin and Dobald Trumpf are gonna get down physically. (Yeah yeah I had the ATL +3 in my original picks post, but I liked that I could get -3 with EVEN odds––number has since moved to 2.5.)

Gamble on the Clinton/Trump debate embrace: hugs v smoochies

Whoa. Full-blown intercourse is +45000. Great value there.

Friday, September 23, 2016

IF YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT THIS VIDEO IS TRYING TO SAY, I WILL PAYPAL YOU A FLAGON OF RESPECT (ALTHOUGH I BET YOU ARE CYBER-HUMAN AND YOU WOULD BE JUST TRYING TO TRICK ME SO DON'T BOTHER)

Chill out, Matt Forte


and don't forget it, pencil pushers.

Klay Thompson NBA2K17 looking sharp!

• LATE TO THE GAME? 
• TOO OLD? 
• NOT FUNNY? 
• STRAPPED FOR TIME? 
• DAD 

Any word or phrase in the book, and I've heard it. But here's the thing: I'm building something here at MYAMERICA and I'd love if you'd be a part of it. The odds are stacked against me but I don't even give an F. Send me an email or join the mailing list, and we can work it out. I will pay 'ground-floor champions' of this blog upwards of 11¢ a year. I don't care.

P R E A C H

William L. says what we're all thinking. I never DON'T have sex (with cops, male AND female) in any other place. It's the bathroom or bust for me. And with these hemoroids sitting is basically an afterthought for anything. Please respect my rights and read my blog. Thank you.
i feel a lil embarrassed listening to the 'rap part' in the new dirty projectors jam but i also really lyke it ?
Friday Night Special™
#FREE MONEY +775 PARLAY. FROM YOUR FRIEND JEFF.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Why Humans Like Rooftop Bars/Restaurants: An Exposè

Toledo, O.H.– Picture this: You. A roof. A glass of your favorite adult beverage ... that's when the pterodactyls are most likely to attack. Yet time and time and time and time and time again we find ourselves in this very scenario. Sad.

[YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR FREE ARTICLE LIMIT THIS MONTH • SUBSCRIBE TO MYAMERICA+ TO KEEP READING FOR JUST $79.99 A DAY]
sdasdp
SO I DECIDED TO 'MAN UP' AND GO THRU W/ WATCHING THE SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE (FIRST 40 MINUTES THIS MORNING) AND I AM SO HAPPY I DID. IT MIGHT BE ONE OF THE GREATEST 100 MOVIES EVER. I WILL GENERATE MORE CONTENT ON THIS EXPERIENCE/FILM LATER. SO SO SO SO GOOD.

OREGON DUCKS FINALLY ACHIEVED PEAK UNIFORM DESIGN

That's it, folks. They Ducks finally did it. The uniform experiment must end. And it must end NOW. My take:

For the past 75-100 years or something like that, the Oregon U football squad has been literally wearing a different uniform design for every single game they've played. This recruiting gimmick/schtick has been fruitful. The Ducks have been the class of the Pac (12). But with the announcement and release that this weekend's uniform is going to look like an actual duck (see left) the experiment needs to end. These are pretty much the coolest uniforms ever. Short of gluing some actual feathers to them I'm not sure how they could be improved. I love them. Do all your loyal fans a favor, OU, and stick with the duck style. #DuckStyle4Life

This might be the best photograph I've ever taken.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

JAPAN




hi how is goin ? i think i am gonna go for a soul-searchin' jog ... i know i said i was gonna watch this movie but i just can't do it today, or... any day ? i'm sorry :-(

AN IDEA:

for: a band name / band concept

what the heck you got in mind, Jeff: (hear me out) The Dave SlapsYou Band

go on: just a band fronted by a guy/guys named Dave who go around slapping audience members (a real fun time for the whole family)

A+ GOLD FTW 100
nASk
nasdasd
nasdaksd
nasd

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

NASdUll

Quality smirk on this guy. Potential under-the-radar RB I'm eyeing.

Gimme a "C-O-N-T-E-N-T

… wut does that spell? PENGUIN QUEEN 2016!"

CONTENT POST ID: G0007386229_10
POSTED: 11:30:15 AM EST
FROM: PPHQ Philly
GENERAL DESCRIP: Good picture & words
Watching this movie today on the gym stairmaster. Can't wait.
PRESS RELEASE. Missouri, Idaho, Worldwide, USA. So puhleased to announce the debut of two new programs Live from PPHQ (which I will record on my phone with Facebook Live––update:DELETED) and Jeffkkast Live (which I will record on my knockoff iRulu tablet with Ustream). The titles of these shows are basically meaningless trash.
I shoulda called the iPhone "Jeffkkast Live" because I will probably only record with the tablet one in my basement so "Live from PPHQ" makes more sense? Who the F knows. This is the beginning of the end but at least it's the beginning. Everything is meaningless. See you on the feeds.
Thinkman
T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳ _T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳_ T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳ _T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳_ T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳ _T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳_ T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳ _T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳_ T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳ _T I M E _ 2 _ G E T _ 2 _ W U R K _ ⏳_ ?
Big shout out to Eddie Royal who is an avid reader of this blog. Great GTPRTD! (garbage time punt return TD) Got me THA OVAH!!! More like Eddie King if you ask me. ("royal" just doesn't cut it)

WECLOME 2 HELLL




Niulal

Monday, September 19, 2016

Nualld

C O N T E N T (Γ”) K I L L E R

K I S S Y – K I S S Y ~I N~ T H E ~C O N T E N T~ P A T C H

Just got back from Raleigh

and I took a 2+ hour nap. Maybe the longest nap I've taken in 3+ years? Debating how hard I should crush this coming week. Leaning towards FULL ANNIHILATION. For starters, I put on another 17.5 lbs so there's no where to go but up in the health & fitness dept. Secondly, I got so many ideas juices flowing that my shit is like literally a river and the river is flooding (call FEMA, bitches). Thirdly, I don't even need a third point. Lemme just watch MNF and do one last carb binge in peace. L8er.
I posted this shit on twitter but I'm posting again here too whatever I'm on the #WentzWagon I guess. Final score: Chicago 27-24.

ASCoo

Friday, September 16, 2016

Because I had SHIT luck last Saturday, I am going to refrain from gambling on the college ball this weekend. My only wager is a modest one on the +270 Temple moneyline as I loathe Penn St. and would love to see my Philly boys beat them on JoePa day.
ASDASDSADAKD

A VOTE 4 TRUMP IS A VOTE 4 LΕΈFE
Hoping for a homerun tonight. I'll have some college plays later on.

JASDjokesonehy

Thursday, September 15, 2016

JAsdkjjnnk

Just a fun little parlay

Def hoping Tanaka kills it tonight but part of me thinks this is gonna be an old school barnburner.