the rumours are true: it is time for lunch (lunchtime).

You can check out a video of me making a savory vegan oatmeal dish (perfect for breakfast OR any time really) at my Tumblr presence: shrimpkardashian. This is just part of my campaign to MAKE FOOD GREAT AGAIN.

Come with me as we take a trip inside Joe canals liquor store in New Jersey. . .

NADDAL

NANAFAFLLL

We can defeat social media with our blogs, people. I am woodshedding many new slogans to help make this IDEA a REALITY™:

• The Future is Us: Just Blog It™
• Why do social media when blogger.com still exists?™
• Instagram? More like Nothankyoum'am!™ 

Going to listen to the new of Montreal -> the new Dinosaur Jr. albums on my run (detailed earlier if you want to try to hit me with your car). I am nothing if not a 90s boi teehee.

NBD

The ToC (table of contents) for my first "REAL_ASS" book, a short story collection called Yawns & Licks. Some of these are failed novella attempts that I'm heavily editing, others are actual, fairly long short stories (a few are over 5K words) that I'm umm also heavily editing (I suppose the distinction is moot and/or insignificant).

They're pretty old––and definitely embarrassing in many ways––but my brain thought of them and I am adamant about their having a place in this world. What they lack in value/style/(?) they easily make up for in sheer weirdness. And I appreciate them being there in that Google Drive folder. I will let them out to play soon enough. Just giving them a bath **wink wink**. (Get it? I switched to an analogy where they were like a pet or some other animal. But they're really just short stories. That's called Writing 101.)

Here is a S N E A K Y ~ P E E K Y of ¶ Numer Uno of the 2nd story, "Arris."

I look out my window. The window just seems like a random square cut out of one of the walls in a room in this house. It doesn’t seem like a real window, or a window in a considered “window” kind of way. And I see people below, mostly walking on paths. Crisscrossing on paths or otherwise. Outside this window, I see these people I will never meet. Most of the people are walking on neatly constructed stone paths. Some other people, though, they are walking on the grass. But they are merely finding their way to the same stone paths, even if they just touch a few of the stones on the stone paths on the way to where they are ultimately heading. Most likely this is what these people are doing. They are all heading somewhere. Even if somewhere is nowhere.

On Sunday morning, my family and I went to IKEA. I have mixed feelings about IKEA. For a long time, I considered myself anti-IKEA based on a fairly misguided and highly abstract principle, which is not to say one shouldn't have opinions and/or make life decisions that are based on fairly misguided and highly abstract principles. Most principles likely are! It's OK! But did you know you can get a full-ass breakfast with Dutch SWEDISH pancakes*––which looked like crepes to my eyes––and eggs and potatoes and turkey sausage for literally $2? I knew they had super cheap-ass food that was actually supposed to be decent, but I didn't know it was that cheap. So I've decided to lighten my anti-IKEA stance. I am currently pro-IKEA breakfast and pro-IKEA chachkies & knickknacks, and anti-IKEA furniture. So, for all intensive purposes, and in the grand scheme of things, I suppose I am still more anti-IKEA than pro-IKEA, their being––you know––a furniture store at the end of the day. But I think that's a cool thing about life. You can be anti- and pro-, and you can change your mind all the time. Literally who cares. One day you can be shy with the ocean and the next you can harpoon a shark with your fist.


*CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story called the pancakes "Dutch," which is just, I mean, come on now, so embarrassing. Of course IKEA is Sweden's treasure and not Holland's. I am so very ashamed of this error and it has since been fixed in the original text.

PRINCETON, NJ. SOME TIME AFTER 5PM TODAY, AUGUST THE 15th, 2016, I PLAN ON PARKING MY PORSCHE IN THE RITE AID PARKING LOT THEN DOING THIS 6.3-MILE RUN. WILL DETAIL MY MUSIC CHOICE ON TUMBLR. STAY TUNED.

BIG NEWS. Revamping/considering this project after not looking at it for a few years. I like it. Has potential. Needs tweaking but basically a †-project.

I like sports, meeting new people, music/movies/entertainment and just being me.

YANKEES +111 (Bet $10.00 to Win $11.10): Hoping the young kids hit Dickey. Really hope our youth can hit the Dick hard. That's not a weird thing to write. It's just BASEBALL TALK. I'm talking about a real baseball game, this one in fact. I've put my last (imaginary) ten bucks on this, people! The soccer game tied 0-0 (shoulda parlayed the under with a TIE)! I need this!!!

My personal food brand is:🐠PESCA+66%VEGAN[otherwise]//Pizza(cheese/veg)🍕&IceCream🍦EXCEPTIONŽ4LIFE

Is there evidence that Beyoncé has a secret Snapchat account?

NO. THERE IS NOT.

FC ORENBURG

Just put $12.50 on the first half ML of a Russian professional soccer game. Orenburg is playing their third game in less than an hour and they haven't scored a goal yet all season. I got this bet at meaty +260. They're due, right? RIGHT?!

(PS. This is all part of my larger ploy to acquire enough capital to bet on football from my initial $5 free bet, which I quadrupled last night! If this puppy hits, I will have turned that into $50+ in less than 24 hours so let's do this y'all!)

I've gotten less than 33.3% of the "things" I should have received for "donating" to Kickstarter projects.

FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !! FACT !!

I CAN RUN FASTER THAN MICHAEL PHELPS CAN SWIM.

Discovered I had a random $5 "FREE BET" in my account tonight so I made a live bet during this baseball game in the third inning when the Cards were down 2-0. Got decent odds and they came back to win 6-4. Pure dumb luck, but I'm back in the game.

$22.50 YALLZ SHOULD I LET IT RIDE ??

Two guys lighting cigarettes at the same time in jean shorts

SBSVSDVMILL

---

The Dikembe finger wave is getting out of hand in these Olympics. Just saw the Hungarian water polo goalie do it. 

---

BUT IF THIS RANDOM (<--) PHOTO I FOUND ON THE INTERNET HE HAS BEEN DOING SINCE AT LEAST 2013 SO THAT'S SOMETHING (IS IT??? IS IT SOMETHING???).

---

NASDLASDL

If I were executive producer on a Godsmack tribute album I would definitely name it Honest to Godsmack. 

675

Shout out to the NBC Olympic Roku app. It's really good. I also want to say that I'm writing a book about monkeys right now. So look for that in the near future.

Photo taken at 2106 S Christopher Columbus Blvd, Philadelphia, PA @ 9:34AM on 8-14-16.

Just a posted a picture of a cowboy at ikea at my new award winning blog s.c..

INDUSTRIAL ARTIFACTS// ARTIFICIAL INDUSTRY 

aCASASDKcc

MASDASNL

dreamit.67 seconds of ambient beach sounds. Asbury Park, NJ.

ןยรt คקקlเє๔ 4 ค ﻮгคภt

Didn't realize I had a FREE BET in my sportsbook account, so I put $5 (EVEN MONEY) on the Yankees to win tonight at home against the Rays (it's CC v Archer). I am pretty pumped about this business opportunity.

VASdasd(9dasLL

I DIDN'T PUBLISH A SINGLE BOOK YESTERDAY :(

MASDASDLASD88fafKACa

How did I not know this?

Apparently Rivers Cuomo's dad was in Weather Report, but he did not play on the "Birdland" recording.

WHOA BIG NEWS

Great post today, folks. AFTER THE JUMP, get ready to experience five (5!)––that's right, count 'em: FIVE––colour photographs. I took all of the photos within between 3:32PM and 4:19PM EST on Planet Earth on August 10th, 2016. Are you ready? Cool. Go ahead and click, right... NOW!

Really enjoy this guy's videos. He has been doing more videos lately. A+ CONTENT.

Watching Fiji just demolish Great Britain in Olympics rugby. Unreal domination. It's 29-0 after first quarter. 

Carl gonna do what he do, folks.

9c2f96a0bfe509c2d9d013aca101ca46a49859c005aef0e663

Kinda wish of Montreal would make a record that is "DIFFERENT" stylistically, not even necessarily from a music standpoint. But something that doesn't seem so "of MONTREAL" in terms of song/album title(s) and cover art. IDK.