+ THE MAID MADE A MAYO MESS (AGAIN) +

Somewhat troubled by my recent frequently used emojis tbh.

GET READY

I just unearthed a new DIY invention. I was trying to make a homemade stylus for drawing on my macbook's trackpad, and wasn't having a ton of luck. Then I noticed the grapefruit rind sitting on my desk. I picked up a piece and voila! The damn thing worked as skin-like texture and was super-responsive. Here is the first drawing I made just by using a still kinda moist sliver to draw with my fingers:


Enter, PHASE 2: Now I just need to build a stylus using a piece of grapefruit rind attached to the end of a pen or something. This idea is gonna be gold. I'm gonna make a YouTube video about it tomorrow and it's gonna get at least 45,000 views over the next five years because––as you can see from the screengrab at the top of this post––I'm clearly the first person to have this kooky idea.

just googled, "homemade macbook stylus"

j e a l - j e a l ? ?

My biggest regret of the Third Act of today's long, rambling Drive-Time™ episode of my podcast was that I didn't address the Lil Yachty/Carly Rae Jepsen Target commercial. It's hard to begrudge anyone for getting paid to do something, and I actually thought the song was as good as any 2017 cover of "It Takes Two" could possible hope to be, B U T… fuck that shit, and fuck Target. That was all that I could think about watching that bludgeoning salute to capitalism last night. My 2¢ folks.

S/O to MC Abe Lincoln, who would have been 209 years old today if that jerk J Dubs B didn't kill him.

I've said it before and I'll say it again …

I can basically always do without the saxophone 🎷 — the only exception being "Sex Bomb" by Flipper. That's all. Thank you.

My name is Emu Walker

Also got some dough on the clip ML +120.

---

Even as he was walking across america barefoot, Mark Baumer would occasionally post writing prompts on his website. These were some of my favorite writing of his. I'm currently going through them to get an inspired for ideas 

I'm a 47 year old guy who's pretty down to earth with a sick sense of humor, I have many interests from hunting, fishing, old classic Mopar cars and Dodge diesel trucks, I like racing drag racing being my favorite. I also like to be adventurous and like traveling when I can. I'm a fan of metal, and red dirt country music. I follow a paleo lifestyle, I like hiking and lifting weights, crossfit is something I want to get more involved in also. This blog is a bit of my personality, I am keeping this on the cleaner side. I am into romance and I do have a freaky side of my life also that I don't post on here. I am a spiritual person and enjoy living a life in sobriety, because I did a lot of wreckage in my past and life today is way better than it was years ago. Anyway I hope you all enjoy my blog and thanks to those of you who do follow me. If there's anything you want to know or have any questions feel free to ask. [Source.]

You Look Absolutely

CURRENTLY, MY TWO SPIRIT ANIMALS ARE THE FRIED SHRIMP EMOJI 🍤 AND THE SAIGA ANTELOPE

much love to the red-tailed hawk but you have been relegated until the end of winter at least

On the left you'll see how I'm organizing my writing projects on my iPhone using the native Notes app. My daily goal is 5-10K words and, although I come up way short all the time, I still feel it's a solid mark for me to try and hit. On the right is my Google Drive folder where I back up everything / keep finished projects. When a project is done I put an avocado emoji (🥑) in the title field. Thanks for reading this website.

really wanna trademark (™) the phrase "Gob bless y'all, shalomheadz" or even just work on branding SHALOMHEADZ as a slogan/movement/underground rap squad … please wish me luck, shalmonheadz

Oh, bing

God love ya, bing. Keep trying.

ⓝṌⓉ

I had a random thought; it was absurdist/nonsensical, and I wanted to post it right here. But then I forgot it. Almost as immediately as it came to me haha, now 'tis gone. Forever, perhaps.

I can't quit u

Despite my (relative) lack of proficiency in the arena, I continue to gamble on sports nearly every chance I get, which is to say whenever I want, given the (not so relative) lack of constraints of the www. Anyway, I've been reduced to picking sides on what I choose to believe are cosmic whims. For example, I just listened to and enjoyed this new Danny Brown project so whoever the hell "D Brown" is in the above tennis contest, well, he is whom I'm backing (this betrayal of PAIRE who did his part for me yesterday is duly noted).

Of course, I didn't actually bet on Mr. D Brown at all in the two separate wagers posted above, now did I? But they are both in the spirit of betting on him and, as standalone investments, they both offer better payouts than simply betting on him to the win the match straight up. I am putting my cash on the spirit of the underdog to make this a thrilling (read: long) tennis contest, you see. But as my luck would have it D will surely win in straight sets: 6-3, 7-6 … mon dieu, l'horreur

LiVES†HE†iC: CANCELED!

I'm sad to say that my live internet talk show (?) has been canceled. But per an exclusive agreement with Zuck, I reserve the right to utilize the URL whenever I please, and will probably air some really awesome shit on it so follow it I guess.

What it's like watching a tennis match unfold live on Google.com

I couldn't find a stream so I have been reduced to watching this "live" score via google to see if my boy Paire could break serve in the first set's third game. SPOILER: He did not.

Here's a lil upcoming tennis ball (🎾) wager. Both matches are set to start at the top of the hour (10AM EST), in separate ATP events. The first of which features my boy Paire playing in his home country of France. He is 0-1 against his opponent but that match was a 5-set affair back in 2010. The bottom draw features my boy Seppi, an Italian, trying to go 3/3 head-to-head vs his opponent in a tournament called "Sofia" in Bulgaria. I love betting on weird things in the morning.

find your own "P A T H" then create mysterious diagrams behind you in the form of discarded Skittles©

"Destined to lose," gif 2017.

Need the gentleman on the left to win right now. $70 are at stake folks.

Had a dream last night where I found couscous under my toenail.

2 ⚾️ notes:

• just realized the Yanks signed old-ass Matt Holiday this off-season

• realized the above after reading this Deadspin article about how they just signed Chris Carter, who I'm embarrassed to say I had never heard of before reading that!

Hi, welcome to Java Hut, home of the best coffee the planet has to offer. May I take your virginity?

Bet the over on this match (2.5) and it's getting dicey, folks. 2-0 Hamburg with under 10 to go.

Ballad of a Social Media Diarist

мισѕ αмєяι¢α

a poem

ι αм αмєяι¢α. тнє αям σƒ gσ∂ ѕєνєяє∂ ιѕ ιη¢σмρℓєтє αмσηg тнιѕ ѕтυмρ. тнє ℓα∂у, ℓσσкιηg ƒσя αηαgяαмѕ ιη αℓмσѕт єνєяутнιηg, тωιѕтѕ, ωιѕтƒυℓℓу, ιηтσ тнє ωιη∂, αη∂ σя∂єяѕ ѕняιмρ ¢σ¢ктαιℓ ωιтнσυт αη συη¢є σƒ υяgєη¢у. тнє αgιηg σωℓ нσσтѕ. ιт ѕσυη∂ѕ ℓιкє тнє яє¢σя∂ιηg σƒ α ѕ¢яαт¢нє∂ яє¢σя∂ ρℓαуιηg ση ѕσмє ¢нєαρ ∂ιgιтαℓ тнιηg ιη тнє ∂ιѕтαη¢є, вυт ησт тσσ ƒαя.

Z lost and thus begins my (continued) demise;

it's like the New Coke™ of my demise–haha.

MUTANT 🐰 RAVE

a few thoughts:

• i need a new / 2nd phone (maybe a cracked nexus ?) to do my online antics

• updated to sierra 10.2.3 and chrome seems really slow––awesome

• zeballos needs to step this shit up in ecuador, lord almighty

My gee Z(eballos) in a first set tie-break yallz.

I mean, it's just comical + bizarre that the only way I can clear up nearly half of my storage capacity is via some paid third party app? Seriously, apple? FUCK THIS.

can just 1 piece of technology work for me 2day? geezus kryst iDon't ask 4much

g i m m e

dat glitch
& suffer tha cons eQuench[z]

🎾 LET'S GO ZEBALLOS FUCK UP MELZER!!🎾

The digital atmosphere is, well, electric.

SB LI PROP BETS

I know this doesn't look like much, but before the games I hit a dumb $100 parlay that won $145 on the Rangers (NHL) and Iowa (NCAAB) moneylines. So it was a fairly successful day overall.

👃 The patriots won the super bowl again and my right nostril is clogged like crazy: coincidence?

So a lot of the ads for Las Vegas are just like "come here if you like hangovers?" which seems like a really weird as campaign but maybe this the product of not having consumed alcohol for 36 days. Not sure.

It's amazing how dreadful a large-ass media company like P4K is at doing podcasts. For example: this Genesis P-Orridge interview really intrigues me but it's not on iTunes or Stitcher and you can't even download an MP3 at Soundcloud, the only place it's streaming.

It would take all of one minute to connect that Soundcloud feed's RSS to iTunes.

🏃🏃🏃🏃https://t.co/c2NcOyiiMI http://pic.twitter.com/pjSYhqJiKo — 2017 (@0tterboy) February 2, 2017

February 02, 2017 at 10:10AM

I'm now on Myspace. Check out my new profile.

CELLULAR PHONE TECHNOLOGY IDEA:

∞G

S/O to the wonderful lunatic who made this masterpiece around the corner from my house.

guzzle https://t.co/xSfsMF7WeB — 2017 (@0tterboy) February 1, 2017