I STILL NEED TO FIND A BETTER TO-DO LIST SYSTEM | WASTING TOO MUCH TIME | FIND MYSELF SCATTERED TOO OFTEN | THINGS I DID TODAY (INCOMPLETE LIST): TWO GIFS FOR SALE FOR 33¢ (HERE/HERE); EDITED ~4K WORDS OF A SHORT STORY / FAILED NOVEL ATTEMPT CALLED "LAMBERTON;" BON IVER REMIX; YESTERDAY'S DICK COMMA (I AM ALWAYS ONE DAY BEHIND IT SEEMS); BREAKFAST VLOG; BET ON MLB; [ETC.] | I AM GOING TO EAT DINNER HERE TONIGHT | THEN WATCH THE FINAL 60MIN OF THE ORIGINAL TMNT MOVIE AT THE GYM | THEN ... TO-DO LIST TIME?

BASEBALL BET:

BALTIMORE ORIOLES +106

Y Gallardo

over

BOSTON RED SOX

E Rodriguez

Bet $11.10 to Win $11.77

Just getting around to / into the habit of U N S U B S C R I B I N G from random crap emails I get. Feel very liberated. Feel like a baby seal only I got the club motherfucker. And opposable thumbs and Usain Bolt's legs. Imagine that: a baby seal with opposable thumbs and Usain Bolt's legs. What would that look like? Find out, tonight at 11.

Bon Iver's “22 (OVER S∞∞N)” + “10 d E A T h b R E a s T ⚄ ⚄” are pretty good tracks and you can listen to them here but damn if they don't sound even better played at the same time.

the rumours are true: it is time for lunch (lunchtime).

You can check out a video of me making a savory vegan oatmeal dish (perfect for breakfast OR any time really) at my Tumblr presence: shrimpkardashian. This is just part of my campaign to MAKE FOOD GREAT AGAIN.

Come with me as we take a trip inside Joe canals liquor store in New Jersey. . .

NADDAL

NANAFAFLLL

We can defeat social media with our blogs, people. I am woodshedding many new slogans to help make this IDEA a REALITY™:

• The Future is Us: Just Blog It™
• Why do social media when blogger.com still exists?™
• Instagram? More like Nothankyoum'am!™ 

Going to listen to the new of Montreal -> the new Dinosaur Jr. albums on my run (detailed earlier if you want to try to hit me with your car). I am nothing if not a 90s boi teehee.

NBD

The ToC (table of contents) for my first "REAL_ASS" book, a short story collection called Yawns & Licks. Some of these are failed novella attempts that I'm heavily editing, others are actual, fairly long short stories (a few are over 5K words) that I'm umm also heavily editing (I suppose the distinction is moot and/or insignificant).

They're pretty old––and definitely embarrassing in many ways––but my brain thought of them and I am adamant about their having a place in this world. What they lack in value/style/(?) they easily make up for in sheer weirdness. And I appreciate them being there in that Google Drive folder. I will let them out to play soon enough. Just giving them a bath **wink wink**. (Get it? I switched to an analogy where they were like a pet or some other animal. But they're really just short stories. That's called Writing 101.)

Here is a S N E A K Y ~ P E E K Y of ¶ Numer Uno of the 2nd story, "Arris."

I look out my window. The window just seems like a random square cut out of one of the walls in a room in this house. It doesn’t seem like a real window, or a window in a considered “window” kind of way. And I see people below, mostly walking on paths. Crisscrossing on paths or otherwise. Outside this window, I see these people I will never meet. Most of the people are walking on neatly constructed stone paths. Some other people, though, they are walking on the grass. But they are merely finding their way to the same stone paths, even if they just touch a few of the stones on the stone paths on the way to where they are ultimately heading. Most likely this is what these people are doing. They are all heading somewhere. Even if somewhere is nowhere.

On Sunday morning, my family and I went to IKEA. I have mixed feelings about IKEA. For a long time, I considered myself anti-IKEA based on a fairly misguided and highly abstract principle, which is not to say one shouldn't have opinions and/or make life decisions that are based on fairly misguided and highly abstract principles. Most principles likely are! It's OK! But did you know you can get a full-ass breakfast with Dutch SWEDISH pancakes*––which looked like crepes to my eyes––and eggs and potatoes and turkey sausage for literally $2? I knew they had super cheap-ass food that was actually supposed to be decent, but I didn't know it was that cheap. So I've decided to lighten my anti-IKEA stance. I am currently pro-IKEA breakfast and pro-IKEA chachkies & knickknacks, and anti-IKEA furniture. So, for all intensive purposes, and in the grand scheme of things, I suppose I am still more anti-IKEA than pro-IKEA, their being––you know––a furniture store at the end of the day. But I think that's a cool thing about life. You can be anti- and pro-, and you can change your mind all the time. Literally who cares. One day you can be shy with the ocean and the next you can harpoon a shark with your fist.


*CORRECTION: An earlier version of this story called the pancakes "Dutch," which is just, I mean, come on now, so embarrassing. Of course IKEA is Sweden's treasure and not Holland's. I am so very ashamed of this error and it has since been fixed in the original text.