May 16, 2017 at 09:16AM

Always the 💨 windshield, never the 🐜 bug

A 🍕 FOR DOGS?

Sure thing, howza'bout uno large "" P u p p e r o n i "" pizza pie coming up, lol. Just a gag-post, folks. The actual good content is coming soon I promise.

Next up: fannypack phase™

Doing the damn posts like I was meant to.

Folks, I am a "hip" guy who is generally very OK, if not "supremely hip" to the hippy mentality/lifestyle. I AM NOT HERE TO JUDGE. I also have very neutral feelings on panhandlers/bums. Life is shit, and sometimes it defeats you 77-0. I get it. Do what needs to be done. I'm just another bit of flesh covered in slightly cleaner clothes. But lord almighty I am not OK with the scene represented in the photograph above, which I took at 4:27 PM yesterday on the corner of York & Aramingo in Philadelphia. This is a super busy intersection, and this… this poor dog. It made me so depressed. Yes, he kinda looks cozy in this photograph, but trust me: cars were constantly buzzing by within feet of his/her head as 'the owner' held out the hat for cars stopped at the left-turn red. This wasn't safe. Please, hippies and bums (god love ya): STOP IT WITH THE PETS. Panhandle all the livelong day––whether by total freedom of choice, or otherwise––but leave the pups at Mom's. Thank you. /PSA

=-ity // ž∂ƒ0

May 12, 2017 at 09:19AM

Rock bottom is decidedly not so rocking imo.

Even without any current context, this is just an incredibly bizarre statement. Is it a joke? Could/would anyone be able to confirm it's a joke? And if it is, why is it funny?

🌎☮️

#TBT

BRING IT BACK > WANT YOU BACK

Facts, y'all...

It's going great over here folks.

there is a wifi network near me named "Laura Palmer" which is the name of a very important character from the TV show Twin Peaks, which I have just gotten back into heavily in anticipation of the forthcoming reboot; I noticed this wifi network right around the same time, but you see this is probably just a coincidence because the name of the street I live on is "Palmer" and maybe this wifi network belongs to someone named "Laura [whatever her last name is]" and she also lives on this street "Palmer" and we are neighbors. who knows, though... we're all just spinning on this crazy rock called earth; it probably don't matter fam

It's true, my daughter hath declared . . .

The "Go!" Embargo is over

My daughter is two and she loves Paw Patrol. My wife and I love it too. There's just something about it. IDK that's not what this post is about sorry*.

But every episode when the pups transition from dogs into dogs who do crime-fighting with cool outfits on, they play a song with a repetitive "Go!" chant. My wife and I like to chant along and also say "Go!" during this song. My daughter, until yesterday, did not allow this.

"Don't say 'go'," my daughter would, without fail, declare. We had to respect her wishes.

Then, after much pleading and, frankly, stern inquisition over why it was exactly she did not want her parents to sing along with the repetitive cartoon song, she said, "You can say 'go'." We tested her, saying "Go!" over and over the next time the song played. As if by reflex, she yet again declared, "Don't say 'go'." But then I said, "you just said we could say 'go'?" And she said, "Oh yeah, you can say 'go'." Hell yeah we can.

And so that's that. The "Go!" Embargo is over.

*my favorite character is Zuma, though, in case you were wondering, because he calls everybody "dude."

I am...

That Feeling When You Are Trying To Touch Your Phone Or Tablet Just As It Goes Into Lock Screen And Your Mind Knows You Touched It Before It Should Have Turned To Black And Maybe Life Is Not Fair; Is This A Metaphor? OMG Maybe It Is; We Should Get Out Of Here.