IF YOU CAN TELL ME WHAT THIS VIDEO IS TRYING TO SAY, I WILL PAYPAL YOU A FLAGON OF RESPECT (ALTHOUGH I BET YOU ARE CYBER-HUMAN AND YOU WOULD BE JUST TRYING TO TRICK ME SO DON'T BOTHER)

Chill out, Matt Forte

and don't forget it, pencil pushers.

Klay Thompson NBA2K17 looking sharp!

• LATE TO THE GAME? ✔
• TOO OLD? ✔
• NOT FUNNY? ✔
• STRAPPED FOR TIME? ✔
• DAD ✔

Any word or phrase in the book, and I've heard it. But here's the thing: I'm building something here at MYAMERICA and I'd love if you'd be a part of it. The odds are stacked against me but I don't even give an F. Send me an email or join the mailing list, and we can work it out. I will pay 'ground-floor champions' of this blog upwards of 11¢ a year. I don't care.

P R E A C H

William L. says what we're all thinking. I never DON'T have sex (with cops, male AND female) in any other place. It's the bathroom or bust for me. And with these hemoroids sitting is basically an afterthought for anything. Please respect my rights and read my blog. Thank you.

i feel a lil embarrassed listening to the 'rap part' in the new dirty projectors jam but i also really lyke it ?

Friday Night Special™

#FREE MONEY +775 PARLAY. FROM YOUR FRIEND JEFF.

Why Humans Like Rooftop Bars/Restaurants: An Exposè

Toledo, O.H.– Picture this: You. A roof. A glass of your favorite adult beverage ... that's when the pterodactyls are most likely to attack. Yet time and time and time and time and time again we find ourselves in this very scenario. Sad.

[YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR FREE ARTICLE LIMIT THIS MONTH • SUBSCRIBE TO MYAMERICA+ TO KEEP READING FOR JUST $79.99 A DAY]

sdasdp

SO I DECIDED TO 'MAN UP' AND GO THRU W/ WATCHING THE SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE (FIRST 40 MINUTES THIS MORNING) AND I AM SO HAPPY I DID. IT MIGHT BE ONE OF THE GREATEST 100 MOVIES EVER. I WILL GENERATE MORE CONTENT ON THIS EXPERIENCE/FILM LATER. SO SO SO SO GOOD.

OREGON DUCKS FINALLY ACHIEVED PEAK UNIFORM DESIGN

That's it, folks. They Ducks finally did it. The uniform experiment must end. And it must end NOW. My take:

For the past 75-100 years or something like that, the Oregon U football squad has been literally wearing a different uniform design for every single game they've played. This recruiting gimmick/schtick has been fruitful. The Ducks have been the class of the Pac (12). But with the announcement and release that this weekend's uniform is going to look like an actual duck (see left) the experiment needs to end. These are pretty much the coolest uniforms ever. Short of gluing some actual feathers to them I'm not sure how they could be improved. I love them. Do all your loyal fans a favor, OU, and stick with the duck style. #DuckStyle4Life

This might be the best photograph I've ever taken.

JAPAN

hi how is goin ? i think i am gonna go for a soul-searchin' jog ... i know i said i was gonna watch this movie but i just can't do it today, or... any day ? i'm sorry :-(

AN IDEA:

for: a band name / band concept

what the heck you got in mind, Jeff: (hear me out) The Dave SlapsYou Band

go on: just a band fronted by a guy/guys named Dave who go around slapping audience members (a real fun time for the whole family)

A+ GOLD FTW 100