I am a failure at everything

I made this "Darkwa Duck" shop at ~1:05PM yesterday, Sunday, the first day of November, 2015. As far as first days of months go, it was wholly average. I watched some football. I played with my daughter. I drank two beers. The bartender with the blue hair gave me some really weird looks again. She's on to me. I'm a fraud just like everybody else.

Orleans Darkwa is my favorite player right now. He doesn't need a fancy Twitter handle with numbers and such, it's just @OrleansDarkwa. When your name is Orleans Darkwa, that's all you need.

The losing fantasy football team on the left belongs to me. You'll notice who I have in the flex. And you'll notice my bench. Now please look at the losing margin. Case closed. I am a failure at everything.

This is true all the time and never at all. Because I have no regrets. I accept that life is horrible and meaningless, but I am having fun. Mashing up marginal pro football journeymen with largely forgotten early 90s cartoons, drinking beer, making my kid laugh by putting a pumpkin basket on my head: I do it all. Just do it, I say.

I am at 4-4 on the fantasy season, and this blunder could easily cost me a playoff spot but I wouldn't change a thing. Just because I am a failure at everything, doesn't mean my countless, futile attempts at magical thinking are any less important.

In that moment, I believed in Orleans Darkwa. I still do. When he was getting stuffed at the goal line on a play where he injured his back, I knew I had made the right decision. You can be right and also wrong. This is the cosmic embrace. Accept the failures and live inside the cocked "oh well" smiles they inspire.


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