Fitting that this is record #89 because it is very much related to Taylor Swift (duh) — that was unintentional; everything else is not. This is more than a record: it's a game. This is being released a year and a day after the album its aping on 4/20 Easter Sunday 2025 (it inspired the hashtag #AardvarkHasRisen and the accompanying meme/phenomenon "varking" which I we don't need to get into/rehash here). All 36 tracks — one more than The Tortured Poets Department: The Anthology physical edition — are each longer than the longest song T.S. ever released ("All Too Well (10 Minute Version)") (at over 7.5hrs this is among the longest records in the catalog) and each one references a unique track in the Swiftian catalog. This could be a sample, a lyrical nod, or some harder, more oblique allusion. Some are very easy and some might be close to impossible (I have the key but I couldn't tell you the connection off-hand in a few cases). If you can figure out ALL 36 T.S. sister tracks and email me the result, you will win a fantastic prize! I'll start you off: TRACK 32 Somnambulent = The New Romantics. Below is the lone music video for penultimate banger "Salad Phalanx (How to Lose the Plot Completely, Part I) 2" + the mood board I used for the creation of this record and a few lyrics. I hope you have fun visiting The Tortured Poets Adult Daycare & Retirement Community, but don't stay too long *wink wink*...
♫ TRACKLIST – 36 TRACKS (7:32:03)
DISC 1
1. Mimeo Dayglow Halo 11:24
2. Wolves Against Wolves (Again) 13:46
3. Several Sickos on the Brink of Redemption 11:11
4. A Ken Burns Haircut (I Want One) 10:57
5. Perfect Peace 12:48
6. Dead Men Do Wear Ties 15:32
7. Murse Mode (Musical Information System) 10:22
8. Put the Bad Feelings to Bed 10:43
9. Manglory 10:54
DISC 2
10. Only 12 Years Ago 10:20
11. Sveta's Reverie (Memento Guardian) 14:00
12. Demigod Sloth Sub 10:27
13. Mise-en-Scène for Miles 11:45
14. Tug 20:10
15. Efficient Pariah 10:44
16. Early Animation 10:31
17. Extended Denouement 17:53
18. Seagrief 10:25
DISC 3
19. 1, 2, 2003 10:21
20. XXX Abelists 11:11
21. Two Weeks 19:18
22. I, ACM Efrem Gil (IQ Notions Poisonously Slur) 12:39
23. Terrorist Plot to Destroy the Marketplace of Ideas 10:31
24. December 2078 (28,625,537 Minutes from Now, or How to Lose the Plot Completely, Part II) 11:28
25. The Flaming Lake 11:06
26. Egg Lady at the Million-Man March 10:21
27. Queen Quarrel 13:07
DISC 4
28. The Universe is Hell (Being Alive is the Most Dead We'll Ever Get) 11:06
29. Genderfluid Fender-Benders 11:01
30. Mufic Machine 13:44
31. Lou Diamond Phillips is Fondling an Aura 11:01
32. Somnambulant 12:43
33. You Don't Know God (America) 12:49
34. Rorschach: 🦋 or 🦇? 12:49
35. Salad Phalanx (How to Lose the Plot Completely, Part I) 20:51
36. Everless 10:30
SEQUENTIAL
