ANDDDDDDD we're back! A new EP, the first of XXXX (the year that it is, of course). This is actually (kinda~sorta) 2 EPs for the price, well, it's free... you can just download it for free like all the other shit. The First 3 Songs are Iowa, a mini concept album about warring factions in and around Des Moines, and what are they warring about? Well, it's a bunch of sad men arguing in bars about what the best adult books/sex toy shop in the great Des Moines area of course. But when the debate boils over into actual violence, who will be the last perv left standing?
The Next 3 Songs are Idaho, a mini concept album loosely based Rural Oregon’s "movement" to join Idaho because they were so sad they couldn't be as mega racist as they wanted or some shit (IDK read about these losers here). In this alternate future history version of the story, an ACTUAL war is started over this nonsense.
You can read the lyrics for these songs if you wish...
🤑 MaXXXing Out the CC in Des Moines
Maxing out the CC in Des Moines
At the adult book store down on Euclid
Hence the stylized misspelling
In the title of this song
Now some may call me Mr. Romantix
For also my support of their goods
Others swear by The Lover's Playground
Or they say it's just as good (and they would)
We call these fools the Cherry St. Boys
They're imposing and rude
But they so love their you know what toys
Love 'em to death, it's true (so we say)
Don't let the door hit you on the way out
(we also say) Na na na na na na
🤑 Mr. Romantix
The USA is a monster
So I moved to Des Moines
Started on being and becoming
A regular old regular
They call me Mr romantix
Cuz I am so lovely and pure
I decided a long time ago
That I wouldn't take no for an answer
🤑 The Cherry St. Boys
I hate them with the passion
Of a 1000 burning stars
They start wars and light fires
At every single local bar
The cherry st boys is a plague
A stain on god's canvas
Life in Iowa totally sucks now
And it's clear that they planned this
🤑 Everyone Wanna Live in Idaho (Until They Live in Idaho)
I need to write three song about Idaho
To completely complete this curse-ed thing
I read about some news on a device
And found it suspiciously inspiring
C. Everyone Wanna Live in Idaho
Until they live in Idaho
And I stole that line verbatim
Semper Fi aloha I love you all
Why not start a brand new country
You losers could call it Idaho 2
You could rearrange state lines till the cows come home
You all would still be fucking you
🤑 Idaho 2: The Freedom Fries War
He smoked his whole life
Now he's paying a price
It's Steeper on the other side
But does he care? Not quite
C. He went to war, it was finally his time
The freedom fries in Oregon are covered in slime
But the ones across the border, new border, are fine
The best potatoes are potatoes of the mind. (Amen!)
The laws all are broken
However you smoke them
You can squirt past the ice
To frozen tundra twice as nice
🤑 Oregon Oregoing Oregone
Of all the places that have never existed
Or a two by two square foot section of a subway platform
It's all the same, we can't be divided
We only think we can invent a new society
But the men in charge are still at large
They see our sick sad lives as a jungle gym
Adults simply cannot ever be contained
When it comes to the judgment of their actions
So respond like a child in the reflection of their light
Whine blithely till the cows come home screaming
It's not for cheese here or chess pieces or other wears
There's something different in the water I swear
And when it's gone, all finally gone, and the gloating
Replaces the final shred of self-respect you ever had
This new place is just a sliver in the scheme of things
We aren't allowed to live free in any place, only lie death dying dead-ass in the gutter forever ♾️
