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ANDDDDDDD we're back! A new EP, the first of XXXX (the year that it is, of course). This is actually (kinda~sorta) 2 EPs for the price, well, it's free... you can just download it for free like all the other shit. The First 3 Songs are Iowa, a mini concept album about warring factions in and around Des Moines, and what are they warring about? Well, it's a bunch of sad men arguing in bars about what the best adult books/sex toy shop in the great Des Moines area of course. But when the debate boils over into actual violence, who will be the last perv left standing?

The Next 3 Songs are Idaho, a mini concept album loosely based Rural Oregon’s "movement" to join Idaho because they were so sad they couldn't be as mega racist as they wanted or some shit (IDK read about these losers here). In this alternate future history version of the story, an ACTUAL war is started over this nonsense.

You can read the lyrics for these songs if you wish...

 🤑 MaXXXing Out the CC in Des Moines 

Maxing out the CC in Des Moines

At the adult book store down on Euclid

Hence the stylized misspelling

In the title of this song

Now some may call me Mr. Romantix

For also my support of their goods

Others swear by The Lover's Playground

Or they say it's just as good (and they would)

We call these fools the Cherry St. Boys

They're imposing and rude

But they so love their you know what toys

Love 'em to death, it's true (so we say)

Don't let the door hit you on the way out

(we also say) Na na na na na na

🤑 Mr. Romantix 

The USA is a monster

So I moved to Des Moines

Started on being and becoming

A regular old regular

They call me Mr romantix

Cuz I am so lovely and pure

I decided a long time ago

That I wouldn't take no for an answer

🤑 The Cherry St. Boys 

I hate them with the passion

Of a 1000 burning stars

They start wars and light fires

At every single local bar

The cherry st boys is a plague

A stain on god's canvas

Life in Iowa totally sucks now

And it's clear that they planned this

🤑 Everyone Wanna Live in Idaho (Until They Live in Idaho) 

I need to write three song about Idaho

To completely complete this curse-ed thing

I read about some news on a device

And found it suspiciously inspiring

C. Everyone Wanna Live in Idaho

Until they live in Idaho

And I stole that line verbatim

Semper Fi aloha I love you all

Why not start a brand new country

You losers could call it Idaho 2

You could rearrange state lines till the cows come home

You all would still be fucking you

🤑 Idaho 2: The Freedom Fries War 

He smoked his whole life

Now he's paying a price

It's Steeper on the other side

But does he care? Not quite

C. He went to war, it was finally his time

The freedom fries in Oregon are covered in slime

But the ones across the border, new border, are fine

The best potatoes are potatoes of the mind. (Amen!)

The laws all are broken

However you smoke them

You can squirt past the ice

To frozen tundra twice as nice

🤑 Oregon Oregoing Oregone 

Of all the places that have never existed

Or a two by two square foot section of a subway platform

It's all the same, we can't be divided

We only think we can invent a new society

But the men in charge are still at large

They see our sick sad lives as a jungle gym

Adults simply cannot ever be contained

When it comes to the judgment of their actions

So respond like a child in the reflection of their light

Whine blithely till the cows come home screaming

It's not for cheese here or chess pieces or other wears

There's something different in the water I swear

And when it's gone, all finally gone, and the gloating

Replaces the final shred of self-respect you ever had

This new place is just a sliver in the scheme of things

We aren't allowed to live free in any place, only lie death dying dead-ass in the gutter forever ♾️