adapted for/featured in book #34
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S U M M E R B U Z Z S A W S
At the carnival the young rap stars drank three beers under a purple tent which didn’t exist. The summer buzzsaws rode the rides and flung deep fried oreo cookies filled with blood at all the children down below.
B A S E B A L L S H O R T C A K E
The tired air-conditioning struggled to fill the strawberry shortcake with the baseballs.
C L O U D C H I L D R E N
The champagne bottle corked the eyes of a minimalist. I put my empty coffee cup inside the carcass of a giant wallaby. All the plastic bottles floating in the ocean declared war on my penis and my future children turned into storm clouds.
N I G H T M A R E M I R A G E
Outside the makeshift cat farm cats pretended to be humid dots in front of your face in a sweltering nightmare mirage.
S M O K I N G D Y N A M I C S
A shirtless man took my dog to the World Cup. His strange family dynamics smoked cigarettes inside the mind of his wife and daughter. On his back I painted a sad conversation before he boarded the plane.
T H R O A T M O U T H
A platter of good families is served to the throat mouth of approaching death. We quiver when the weird camcorder from gives birth to a beautiful movie.
C A R I N T E R N E T
The internet smacked a dream out of my neighbor’s head. My car wished it was an internet. Lots of black animals wore people skin the summer heat.
R A D I A T I O N F O G
The workers stirred melted red rubber in vats inside the store. The brain of a bird was filled with fog and on display. The fog gave off a radiation at bargain basement rates.
P O O L W A T E R S P O K E
The poolwater spoke to the roof. Its eyeballs were fireworks inside the heart of a benign insect.
A L C O H O L A D V E R T I S E M E N T
The beach bug put his head under the sand girl’s butt. Five dead flies dangled from a beach biplane as an advertisement for alcohol.
K I T T E N C L E A N E R or M I M E G E R M S
Mimes wiped the train walls clean with kittens. Later I looked at the stone giant who the conductor was using to wipe the kitten fur free of train mime germs.
D E N I M B I R T H D A Y S
A fetus watched 80s movies projected on the denim shirt of a man inside the womb. The shirt was tucked into jeans which were stitched from old womb. When the fetus came out the mother fed it wooden eggs. Logging is the only acceptable profession for children with denim birthdays.
M I N T L I C K
The cows fixed her computer with porkchop brownies that tasted like mints. Stray cats licked the mints and they became new three-terabyte harddrives.
T O A S T B R I D G E
A dog walked across a bridge which connected two giant pieces of toast. The pink sunset made the toast look like cake.
S O D A D A N C E
The heat got to the invertebrate and it did a dance in the name of heavenly law. I laughed along with the napkins at IHOP. The syrupy diet soda did a similar dance.
S P I K E B L O S S O M or S O F T Q U I Z
A spike blossomed in sleep. The quiz paper on the front lawn was soft and mushy. I never spoke in the sunlight without pants on again.
P I Z Z A W O R L D
The world became a pizza. Two pizza states developed. One was black and burnt. The other was a yellow bug stuffed with cheese. A large unicorn drank all the water and the pizza dried up and died.
P A R A S I T E S D I V I D E D
The bomb exploded and the parasites were divided into three groups. A fourth group died on the night of the explosion. All the question marks seemed so strange.
S T R E T C H E R S L E E P
She did not scream or breath into the goal. Perfect angel wings bled onto the open mic like a forced simplicity. I might as well sleep on a stretcher.
C H E F B E E R
After the chef ended his life I had a beer. The captured happiness left a minor television show inside my winking eyeball.
W E E K D A Y W H A L E
Tuesdays made the whale cold and weary. It took breaths like an old whale deep in the future. Its carcass eventually found its way to the bottom of the ocean, many years removed from a life full of weekdays.
see also: AA & IT
