adapted for/featured in book #34
It's time for me to put up or shut up. I should've joined the army. I think my version of joining the army (at this point) would be to delete every online account I’ve ever created.
Life is funny. I don't think I should do this but I also can't keep half-sassing it. A guy from China might be trying to sue me. (I don't know; I stopped responding to his emails.)
What I'm saying is that I need to regiment.
And this is the most troubling thing: to think of the number of days and hours I have to create, and how I so often squander them. I don't feel this is an unusual sentiment but eating a pretzel will never be as satisfying as writing another song no one will listen to. I have to cut my own hair, so to speak.
In my fever dream of abandoning everything, I envision a new persona being five years younger than I really am. But I know if I can get my shit together I can do five years of work in the next three. And I can.
So I am walking tall this morning. My calendar and lists are full of tasks and events and I am ready. My skull is soundproof. I am noticing more and more the birds and insects of this earth. Give me today and tomorrow and all the vlogs and plant-based foods will once again belong to you. I am the guidance counselor of good taste and it is assuredly not getting into college.
