On the day after Halloween 2009, I wrote the piece "Does Baseball = Self-Loathing?" and the world would never be the same. Would you like to read it now?

Two days before Halloween in 2009, I wrote the following piece, "Google is like Led Zeppelin (only better)." I'd like to share it with you now. I love you.

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I wanna run, don't nowhere

Last night I killed a roach on the side of my house with paper towels, my hand cloaked in an oven mitt.