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Friday, February 10, 2017

I can't quit u

Despite my (relative) lack of proficiency in the arena, I continue to gamble on sports nearly every chance I get, which is to say whenever I want, given the (not so relative) lack of constraints of the www. Anyway, I've been reduced to picking sides on what I choose to believe are cosmic whims. For example, I just listened to and enjoyed this new Danny Brown project so whoever the hell "D Brown" is in the above tennis contest, well, he is whom I'm backing (this betrayal of PAIRE who did his part for me yesterday is duly noted).

Of course, I didn't actually bet on Mr. D Brown at all in the two separate wagers posted above, now did I? But they are both in the spirit of betting on him and, as standalone investments, they both offer better payouts than simply betting on him to the win the match straight up. I am putting my cash on the spirit of the underdog to make this a thrilling (read: long) tennis contest, you see. But as my luck would have it D will surely win in straight sets: 6-3, 7-6 … mon dieu, l'horreur

Thursday, February 9, 2017

LiVES†HE†iC: CANCELED!


I'm sad to say that my live internet talk show (?) has been canceled. But per an exclusive agreement with Zuck, I reserve the right to utilize the URL whenever I please, and will probably air some really awesome shit on it so follow it I guess.

What it's like watching a tennis match unfold live on Google.com

I couldn't find a stream so I have been reduced to watching this "live" score via google to see if my boy Paire could break serve in the first set's third game. SPOILER: He did not.


Here's a lil upcoming tennis ball (🎾) wager. Both matches are set to start at the top of the hour (10AM EST), in separate ATP events. The first of which features my boy Paire playing in his home country of France. He is 0-1 against his opponent but that match was a 5-set affair back in 2010. The bottom draw features my boy Seppi, an Italian, trying to go 3/3 head-to-head vs his opponent in a tournament called "Sofia" in Bulgaria. I love betting on weird things in the morning.

find your own "P A T H" then create mysterious diagrams behind you in the form of discarded Skittles©

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

"Destined to lose," gif 2017.


Need the gentleman on the left to win right now. $70 are at stake folks.

Had a dream last night where I found couscous under my toenail.

2 ⚾️ notes:

• just realized the Yanks signed old-ass Matt Holiday this off-season

• realized the above after reading this Deadspin article about how they just signed Chris Carter, who I'm embarrassed to say I had never heard of before reading that!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Hi, welcome to Java Hut, home of the best coffee the planet has to offer. May I take your virginity?
Bet the over on this match (2.5) and it's getting dicey, folks. 2-0 Hamburg with under 10 to go.