Billionaire Simmons' Ring Ring Shop: Black Friday is almost here (don't settle)

The only thing left not rotting or lit on fire at his content farm, folks, are a ~half-dozen or so blind alpacas. They can be yours for the price of a working email address or _______ (barter). These are gonna fly, so run. Don't walk.

They say cargo shorts are out but nobody has said boo about cargo jorts yet so there you go. #Lifehack

TRIGGER I enjoy shopping in stores