This is happening.
Yes, folks, the time has come. How many 'callings' does a man have in life? Some say there are infinite callings. But what says I? I have but one...
This is a dumb idea. But I spent several hours putting together the list of 444 defunct teams so I'm gonna keep going with it. The above logo is for a team called the Kaufman County Crunch of the Independent Indoor Football Alliance. They are not among the list of 444. None of the IIFA teams are. Despite having a Wikipedia page, the IIFA was so small that there's almost no information online about any of its ~8 Texas-based teams. The only logo I could find was the rhino of the Kaufman County Crunch. So I decided to omit all teams.
The only guarantee an active arena football team can really bank on is that it will most certainly become a defunct arena football, usually sooner rather than later.
But if my interest is 98% aesthetics then the other 2% make up the heart & soul of the matter. There's something so beautiful about the business of indoor football––especially 'small time' indoor football––because it reveals what it means to be human. During this initial research phase I actually found a newish league that already seems to be defunct, one with no Wikipedia presence to speak of: the Imperial Indoor Football League. Read this Facebook post from February 2014:
"I don't know why everybody is being so negative about the IIFL! We will be playing this year and all teams have there Arena's. as well. Once the season is over we will be looking for more teams to come in. I'm not gonna throw peoples names out there, because i am not that kind of person. But i will say this much no matter what you will always have haters out there that don't want a black man to succeed, But that ain't working with me or any one in my league! So to all of the haters out there keep hating i love it!!!!!!!!!!!"
For one to take up an interest in arena football, on any level––be it as a fan, as an owner, a player, coach––is basically to admit you are going to lose. A lot of life is about losing. People in all walks of life, every single day, engage in activities that have virtually no upside outside of the feelings which they inspire in the moment. When someone got the idea for the Buffalo Lightning, they had to make a series of choices, one of which involved hiring someone to create this logo:
Put yourself in the shoes of the person who designed that logo. Then put yourselves in the shoes of the person who OK'd it. I love both of these people. I love everyone. The Buffalo Lightning played a single 8-game season just last year as a member of American Indoor Football. They went 1-7. They played their home games at a facility within the "Cattaraugus Community Center, a Seneca Nation-owned facility [Native American] primarily used for box lacrosse and located on the Cattaraugus Reservation in Irving, New York, 30 miles south of Buffalo."
The Lightning's lone win came via a 56-52 victory over the Cleveland Saints (also defunct) on April 25th, 2015 at the above venue, "Northeast Ohio’s premier indoor sports, events and recreation complex." (The Saints never won a game before they folded.) You can even watch a full Buffalo Lightning game online if you'd like. Their loss to the ASI Panthers two weeks earlier at a venue Phish once played in 2013:
There were a few less people then were probably at the Phish show.
Do you see the threads? Do you feel the connections? I could go on and on like this. These are the rabbit holes I live for. The Buffalo Lightning had hoped to play a season this spring, right now actually. Along with a few other teams they attempted to form the Indoor Football Alliance. But things fall apart. That's life.
The CEO of that failed venture is a woman named Barbara Springer, also the owner of the Cape Fear Heroes, who are not defunct but rather "on hiatus" (sure sure, there there). Barbara wrote this message on the team's website less than a month ago:
"On behalf of everyone under the Cape Fear Heroes umbrella we’d like to thank our ticket holders, sponsors, and fans as well as our players and support staff for seeing our vision for our local community and extending their time and effort to make these visions possible. With that being said we feel that you should be updated on our current status and that the Heroes will not be playing this season in 2016. Several factors were accessed prior to making this decision and every avenue evaluated for the possibility to allow us to play for our city in 2016. We know this is very sudden and may come as a shock to some but be rest assured that this break will allow the Heroes time to grow the Heroes organization and prepare for our 2017 season return!"
I will be trying to go see them play a game in late May.
Because I know it might be the only chance I get.
Here is the list of 444 teams presented in alphabetical order: 1 ASI Panthers (Reading, PA) 2 Abilene Bombers 3 Abilene Ruff Riders 4 Abilene Warriors 5 Alabama Hammers 6 Alabama Outlawz 7 Alabama Steeldogs 8 Alabama Vipers 9 Alaska Wild 10 Albany Conquest 11 Albany Panthers 12 Amarillo Dusters 13 Anaheim Piranhas 14 Arctic Predators (Wasilla, Alaska) 15 Arizona Adrenaline 16 Arizona Outlaws 17 Arkansas Stars 18 Arkansas Twisters 19 Atlanta Sharks 20 Atlanta Thoroughbreds 21 Atlantic City CardSharks 22 Augusta Colts 23 Augusta Spartans 24 Augusta Stallions 25 Austin Knights 26 Austin Nitro 27 Austin Rockers 28 Austin Turfcats 29 Austin Wranglers 30 Bakersfield Blitz 31 Baltimore Blackbirds 32 Baltimore Mariners 33 Baltimore War Eagles 34 Baton Rouge Blaze 35 Battle Creek Crunch 36 Bay Bandits 37 Beaumont Drillers 38 Big Sky Thunder 39 Billings Mavericks 40 Billings Outlaws 41 Binghamton Brigade 42 Bismarck Roughriders 43 Black Hills 44 Bloomington Extreme 45 Bluegrass Warhorses 46 Boise Burn 47 Bossier–Shreveport Battle Wings 48 Bricktown Brawlers 49 Buffalo Lightning 50 Canton Cougars 51 Canton Legends 52 Cape Fear Heroes 53 Cape Fear Wildcats 54 Capital City Revolt 55 Carolina Aviators 56 Carolina Bombers 57 Carolina Cobras 58 Carolina Ghostriders / AIFL Ghostchasers / Greensboro Ghostriders 59 Carolina Rhinos 60 Carolina Sharks 61 Carolina Speed 62 CenTex Barracudas 63 Central Valley Coyotes 64 Charleston Sandsharks 65 Charleston Swamp Foxes 66 Charlotte Rage 67 Charlotte Speed 68 Chattahoochee Valley Vipers 69 Chesapeake Tide 70 Cheyenne Warriors 71 Chicago Assassins 72 Chicago Bruisers 73 Chicago Politicians 74 Chicago Rush 75 Chicago Slaughter 76 Chicago Vipers 77 Chillicothe Lumberjacks 78 Cincinnati Commandos 79 Cincinnati Jungle Kats 80 Cincinnati Marshals 81 Cincinnati Rockers 82 Cincinnati Swarm 83 Cleveland Patriots 84 Cleveland Thunderbolts / Columbus Thunderbolts 85 Colorado Castle Rocks 86 Colorado Crush 87 Colorado Ice 88 Colorado Lightning 89 Colorado Stars 90 Colorado Venom 91 Colorado Wild Riders 92 Colorado Wildcats 93 Columbia Stingers 94 Columbus Destroyers / Buffalo Destroyers 95 Columbus Wardogs 96 Connecticut Coyotes 97 Conroe Storm 98 Corpus Christi Fury 99 Corpus Christi Hammerheads 100 Corpus Christi Sharks 101 Council Bluffs Express 102 D.C. Armor 103 Dallas Desperados 104 Dallas Texans 105 Dallas Vigilantes 106 Danville Demolition 107 Danville Dragons 108 Dayton Bulldogs 109 Dayton Sharks 110 Dayton Skyhawks 111 Dayton Warbirds 112 Daytona Beach Hawgs 113 Daytona Beach Thunder 114 Denver Aviators 115 Denver Dynamite 116 Denver Titans 117 Detroit Drive 118 Detroit Fury 119 Detroit Thunder 120 Duluth-Superior Lumberjacks 121 Eastern Kentucky Drillers / Kentucky Drillers 122 El Paso Generals 123 El Paso Rumble 124 Erie Explosion 125 Erie Freeze 126 Erie RiverRats/Storm 127 Eugene Mercury 128 Evansville BlueCats 129 Evansville Rage 130 Everett Destroyers 131 Everett Hawks 132 Everett Raptors 133 Fairbanks Grizzlies 134 Fayetteville Force 135 Fayetteville Guard 136 Fayetteville Guard 137 Flint Phantoms 138 Florence Phantoms 139 Florida Bobcats 140 Florida Firecats 141 Florida Frenzy 142 Florida Kings 143 Florida Scorpions 144 Florida Stingrays 145 Florida Tarpons 146 Fort Myers Tarpons 147 Fort Wayne FireHawks 148 Fort Wayne Freedom 149 Fort Wayne Fusion 150 Fort Worth Cavalry 151 Fort Worth Sixers 152 Fresno Frenzy 153 Frisco Thunder 154 Georgia Fire 155 Georgia Force 156 Georgia Stealth 157 Grand Rapids Rampage 158 Green Bay Blizzard 159 Green Bay Bombers 160 Green Cove Lions 161 Greensboro Prowlers 162 Greensboro Revolution 163 Greenville Force 164 Greenville Riverhawks / Johnstown Riverhawks 165 Gulf Coast Raiders 166 Hammond Heroes 167 Harrisburg Stampede 168 Hawaii Hammerheads 169 Hawaiian Islanders 170 Houma Bayou Bucks 171 Houma Conquerors 172 Houston Stallions 173 Houston ThunderBears 174 Huntington Hammer 175 Huntington Heroes 176 Idaho /Boise Stallions 177 Indiana Cougars 178 Indiana Firebirds / Albany Firebirds 179 Indianapolis Enforcers 180 Iowa Barnstormers 181 Iowa Blackhawks 182 Jacksonville Stallions 183 Jacksonville Tomcats 184 Johnstown Generals 185 Johnstown J Dogs 186 Johnstown Riverhawks 187 Kalamazoo Xplosion 188 Kane County Dawgs 189 Kansas City Brigade 190 Kansas City Command 191 Kansas City Matadors 192 Kansas City Renegades 193 Kansas Koyotes 194 Kansas/St. Joseph Storm 195 Katy Copperheads / Texas Copperheads 196 Katy Ruff Riders 197 Kentucky Drillers 198 Kentucky Horsemen 199 Kentucky Xtreme 200 Kissimmee Kreatures 201 Knoxville NightHawks 202 La Crosse Night Train 203 La Crosse Spartans 204 Lafayette Roughnecks 205 Lafayette Wildcatters 206 Lake Charles Land Sharks 207 Lakeland Raiders / Florida Marine Raiders 208 Lakeland Thunderbolts 209 Laredo Law Laredo 210 Laredo Lobos 211 Laredo Rattlesnakes 212 Las Vegas Aces 213 Las Vegas Outlaw 214 Las Vegas Sting 215 Lehigh Valley Outlawz 216 Lexington Horsemen 217 Lexington Horsemen / Kentucky Horsemen 218 Lincoln Capitols 219 Lincoln Haymakers 220 Lincoln Lightning 221 Los Angeles Avengers 222 Los Angeles Cobras 223 Los Angeles Lynx 224 Louisiana Bayou Beast 225 Louisiana Cottonmouths 226 Louisiana Rangers 227 Louisiana Swashbucklers 228 Louisville Fire 229 Lubbock Gunslingers 230 Lubbock Lone Stars 231 Lubbock Renegades 232 Macon Knights 233 Madison Mad Dogs 234 Mahoning Valley Thunder 235 Manchester Wolves 236 Manchester Wolves / Mohegan Wolves 237 Marion Blue Racers 238 Marion Mayhem 239 Maryland Maniacs 240 Maryland Reapers 241 Massachusetts Marauders 242 Memphis Pharaohs, 243 Memphis Xplorers 244 Miami Hooters 245 Miami Inferno 246 Miami Valley Silverbacks / Dayton Silverbacks 247 Miami Vice Squad 248 Miami Vise 249 Mid-Missouri Outlaws 250 Milwaukee Bonecrushers 251 Milwaukee Iron 252 Milwaukee Mustangs 253 Minnesota Axemen 254 Minnesota Fighting Pike 255 Minnesota Havok 256 Minnesota Monsters 257 Mississippi Fire Dogs 258 Mississippi Headhunters 259 Mississippi Hound Dogs 260 Mississippi MudCats 261 Missouri Minutemen 262 Missouri Monsters 263 Missouri Voodoo 264 Mobile Bay Tarpons 265 Mobile Seagulls 266 Mobile Wizards 267 Mohegan Wolves 268 Montgomery Bears 269 Montgomery Maulers 270 Muskegon Thunder 271 Myrtle Beach Stingrays 272 Nashville Kats 273 Nashville Venom 274 Nebraska Bears 275 Nebraska Extreme/Tornadoes 276 Nebraska Wildcat 277 New England Sea Wolves 278 New England Steamrollers 279 New England Surge 280 New Haven Ninjas 281 New Jersey Red Dogs (Cleveland Gladiators) 282 New Jersey Revolution 283 New Jersey XTreme 284 New Mexico Wildcats 285 New Orleans Night 286 New Orleans VooDoo 287 New York CityHawks 288 New York Dragons 289 New York Knights 290 New York Wolves 291 New York/New Jersey Revolution 292 Norfolk Nighthawks 293 North Texas Crunch 294 Northern Kentucky River Monsters 295 Northshore Gators 296 Odessa Roughnecks 297 Ogden Knights 298 Ohio Valley Greyhounds 299 Cleveland Saints 300 Oklahoma City Yard Dawgz 301 Oklahoma Crude 302 Oklahoma Defenders 303 Oklahoma Wranglers 304 Ontario Warriors 305 Osceola Ghostriders 306 Pensacola Barracudas 307 Peoria Pirates 308 Peoria Rough Riders 309 Pineywoods Bucks 310 Pittsburgh Gladiators (Tampa Bay Storm) 311 Pittsburgh Power 312 Pomona Cool Riders 313 Port Huron Patriots 314 Port Huron Pirates 315 Port Huron Predators 316 Port St. Lucie Mustangs 317 Portland Forest Dragons 318 Portland Prowlers 319 Portland Thunder (Portland Steel) 320 Pueblo Pistols 321 Quad City Steamwheelers 322 Raleigh Rebels 323 Rapid City Flying Aces 324 Reading Express 325 Reno Barons 326 Richmond Bandits 327 Richmond Raiders 328 Richmond Revolution 329 Richmond Speed 330 Rio Grande Valley Dorados 331 Rio Grande Valley Magic 332 Rio Grande Valley Sol 333 River Cities LocoMotives 334 River City Rage 335 River City Renegades 336 Roanoke Steam 337 Roc City Thunder 338 Rochester Brigade 339 Rochester Raiders 340 Rock River Raptors 341 Rock River Raptors / Tennessee Valley Raptors 342 Rockford Metros 343 Rocky Mountain Thunder 344 Rome Rampage / Georgia Rampage 345 Rome Renegades 346 Rome River Dogs 347 Sacramento Attack 348 Saginaw Sting 349 Salina Bombers 350 San Angelo Stampede 351 San Angelo Stampede Express 352 San Antonio Force 353 San Antonio Steers 354 San Antonio Talons / Tulsa Talons 355 San Antonio Texicans 356 San Bernardino Bucking Bulls 357 San Diego Riptide 358 San Diego Shockwave 359 San Diego Thunder 360 San Jose SaberCats 361 San Jose/Stockton Wolves 362 Sarasota Knights 363 Sarasota Thunder 364 Shreveport-Bossier Bombers 365 Sioux City Bandits 366 Sioux Falls Storm 367 South Carolina Force 368 South Georgia Wildcats 369 Southern Oregon Heat 370 Spokane Shock 371 Springfield Shield 372 Springfield Stallions 373 Springfield Wolfpack 374 St. Joseph Cyclones 375 St. Joseph Explorers 376 St. Louis Attack. 377 St. Louis Lightning 378 St. Louis Renegades 379 St. Louis Stampede 380 Staten Island Xtreme 381 Steel Valley Smash 382 Steubenville Stampede 383 Stockton Lightning 384 Summit County Rumble 385 Syracuse Soldiers 386 Tallahassee Thunder 387 Tallahassee Titans 388 Tennessee Rail Runners 389 Tennessee River Sharks 390 Tennessee Riverhawks 391 Tennessee ThunderCats 392 Tennessee Valley Vipers 393 Texas Bullets 394 Texas Copperheads 395 Texas Crunch 396 Texas Hurricanes 397 Texas Regulators 398 Texas Stealth 399 Texas Terminators 400 Texas Terror 401 Texas Thunder 402 Toledo Bullfrogs 403 Topeka Knights 404 Toronto Phantoms 405 Trenton Freedom 406 Trenton Lightning 407 Trenton Steel 408 Tri-Cities Fever 409 Tri-City Diesel 410 Tri-Valley Ranchers 411 Tucson Thunder Kats 412 Tupelo FireAnts 413 Twin City Gators 414 Utah Blaze 415 Utah Catzz 416 Utah Express 417 Utah Rattlers 418 Utah Saints 419 Utah Valley Thunder 420 Utah Warriors 421 Virginia Badgers 422 Waco Marshals 423 Washington Commandos 424 Washington Spartans 425 Wayne Fusion 426 Wenatchee Valley Venom 427 West Michigan ThunderHawks 428 West Texas Roughnecks 429 West Texas Wildcatters 430 Western Pennsylvania Sting 431 Wheeling Wildcats 432 Wichita Aviators 433 Wichita Falls Diablos 434 Wichita Falls Thunder 435 Wichita Stealth 436 Wichita Wild 437 Wilkes Barre / Scranton Soldiers 438 Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Pioneers 439 Winston-Salem Energy 440 Wisconsin Locomotives 441 Wisconsin Wolfpack 442 Wyoming Cavalry 443 Yakima Shockwave 444 Yakima Valley Warriors LIST SUBJECT TO CHANGE, SUBTRACTION, ADDITION, ETC
