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Wednesday, May 31, 2017

HAVE U SEEN DIS MAN?

$ÇR33Ñ FĮ3ÑDŽ

May 31, 2017 at 03:13PM

I think tomorrow I'm going to find a field and bury a hoagie roll and do a live video of said event via Livesthetic. Gob bless.

It's weird

At this point, it looks like Arcade Fire's new album is gonna be called Infinite Content, and this is a completely unoriginal theme. If this is indeed the name and/or motif for their record, they are touching on this topic at the very apex of its tipping point (if not somewhere on the violent and very swift decline that is the other side). In this the Age of Covfefe, things travel fast: all things. They are accelerated by memes and social media, and are rendered meaningless sometimes within hours of their inception. It's weird to say, but we are truly in a post-everything world. Nothing matters. A very talented indie rock band could/would do better by just hitting "random article" on Wikipedia to come up with a subject for their concept record. This is not at all a comment on the potential for this album, or even how I personally will digest it. I'm simply stating the facts as they are. When it comes to content consumption on a personal level, I'm strictly on an Aerosmith "Just Push Play" diet. B U T ,, My hot take on the current and––again––nearly kaput argument that "infinite content" and "streaming" and "binge watching" and [insert other thing(s) like that] are somehow damaging society directly, if not stagnating culture into a state of societal ruin, is this: That don't matter neither. We've always been in search of the pure, endless entertainment. One might even say that said search is the greatest (read: largest) and certainly most peaceful religion on planet earth. Sure, I want to be Pope of this Church, and live in a colossal mansion with a screen that's three-stories high, but I'm just like everybody else: Check out my latest podcast where I review Season 1 of Netflix's Bloodline here.

It's the apocalypse…70% off

W h a t - i f - u - t o u c h e d - t h e - l e g - o f - e v e r y - s i n g l e - p e r s o n - (32K+) - w h o - d i d - t h i s - RT ???

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

• Everything is fine •
The June Swoon is coming folks
more details to follow

May 30, 2017 at 10:43AM

My new Facebook avatar is a video of a piece of poop sitting in a urinal.

Friday, May 26, 2017

The Jeffkkast, a podcast I apparently do (?), is now available via the STITCHER website/app. I added it to this space on the web because Stitcher is in fact what I primarily use to digest (ingest?) pods. So it seemed right to add it on this platform. OK THATS ALL BYE. Updake.NoMore

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Monday, May 22, 2017

If I were the type of people who replied to tweets, I would've wrote, "finally... a goatee for MEN" (something like that).

adding to my expereince last night watching the TWIN PEAKS RETURN PARTS 1&2:

  • my dad was sleeping sitting straight up on the couch in the adjacent room
    (could hear his breathing throughout)
  • my parents dog who is old and has these weird open sores was sleeping near
    me and the stink her sores emit is truly something
I am the boy without subplot, moving through this world of sludge a vessel better suited for carrying pet birds to and from the pet bird morgue to I.D. their dead pet bird counterparts. The horrific accidents they endure are not so different than our every moment. I am a parrot and I was never the boy.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Friday, May 19, 2017

May 19, 2017 at 10:47AM

I'm breathing rn

Thursday, May 18, 2017


Look at this sign why is it in a cage ?? Set the cage free is what I say folks ;; Set it ALL THE WAY free !!

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

HAHAHA JUST 8 ?!?!?!

Eight different filters will be available starting today, including a few different crowns, ones that make a person look like a koala or a rabbit, and another that sends math equations spinning around your head.

May 16, 2017 at 09:16AM

Always the 💨 windshield, never the 🐜 bug

Monday, May 15, 2017

A 🍕 FOR DOGS?

Sure thing, howza'bout uno large "" P u p p e r o n i "" pizza pie coming up, lol. Just a gag-post, folks. The actual good content is coming soon I promise.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Next up: fannypack phase™

Doing the damn posts like I was meant to.

Friday, May 12, 2017

Folks, I am a "hip" guy who is generally very OK, if not "supremely hip" to the hippy mentality/lifestyle. I AM NOT HERE TO JUDGE. I also have very neutral feelings on panhandlers/bums. Life is shit, and sometimes it defeats you 77-0. I get it. Do what needs to be done. I'm just another bit of flesh covered in slightly cleaner clothes. But lord almighty I am not OK with the scene represented in the photograph above, which I took at 4:27 PM yesterday on the corner of York & Aramingo in Philadelphia. This is a super busy intersection, and this… this poor dog. It made me so depressed. Yes, he kinda looks cozy in this photograph, but trust me: cars were constantly buzzing by within feet of his/her head as 'the owner' held out the hat for cars stopped at the left-turn red. This wasn't safe. Please, hippies and bums (god love ya): STOP IT WITH THE PETS. Panhandle all the livelong day––whether by total freedom of choice, or otherwise––but leave the pups at Mom's. Thank you. /PSA
=-ity // ž∂ƒ0

May 12, 2017 at 09:19AM

Rock bottom is decidedly not so rocking imo.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Even without any current context, this is just an incredibly bizarre statement. Is it a joke? Could/would anyone be able to confirm it's a joke? And if it is, why is it funny?

Friday, May 5, 2017

Thursday, May 4, 2017

It's going great over here folks.

Wednesday, May 3, 2017

there is a wifi network near me named "Laura Palmer" which is the name of a very important character from the TV show Twin Peaks, which I have just gotten back into heavily in anticipation of the forthcoming reboot; I noticed this wifi network right around the same time, but you see this is probably just a coincidence because the name of the street I live on is "Palmer" and maybe this wifi network belongs to someone named "Laura [whatever her last name is]" and she also lives on this street "Palmer" and we are neighbors. who knows, though... we're all just spinning on this crazy rock called earth; it probably don't matter fam

Monday, May 1, 2017

It's true, my daughter hath declared . . .

The "Go!" Embargo is over

My daughter is two and she loves Paw Patrol. My wife and I love it too. There's just something about it. IDK that's not what this post is about sorry*.

But every episode when the pups transition from dogs into dogs who do crime-fighting with cool outfits on, they play a song with a repetitive "Go!" chant. My wife and I like to chant along and also say "Go!" during this song. My daughter, until yesterday, did not allow this.

"Don't say 'go'," my daughter would, without fail, declare. We had to respect her wishes.

Then, after much pleading and, frankly, stern inquisition over why it was exactly she did not want her parents to sing along with the repetitive cartoon song, she said, "You can say 'go'." We tested her, saying "Go!" over and over the next time the song played. As if by reflex, she yet again declared, "Don't say 'go'." But then I said, "you just said we could say 'go'?" And she said, "Oh yeah, you can say 'go'." Hell yeah we can.

And so that's that. The "Go!" Embargo is over.

*my favorite character is Zuma, though, in case you were wondering, because he calls everybody "dude."