The internal debate, the food monologue (soliloquy?) rages on...
Your best bet, in life, is to always eschew the a' pizza pie, and––instead––walk around the grocery mart with a large stalk of celery. This way you are burning calories while eating an, essentially, zero-calorie food product. Plus, the added benefit of not having to pay for it because you've successfully munched that sucka before leaving the premises, is a bonus in and of itself. Thief life = Celery Life™.
