The Vine Diet™

Introducing: The Vine Diet™, a soon-to-be-revolutionary new weight-loss program from famed content creator and breakthrough health & fitness guru, Paz Wirth. What's The Vine Diet™? It's so fucking simple yo. Lemme break it on down...

The above Vine is visual evidence of everything I ate on February 11th, 2015 (AKA yesterday). By taking video of everything you eat and drink, THE SELF forces thyself to contemplate each act of consumption. Plus (and here's the kicker), Vines by nature can only be something like 6.2 seconds long! So you best not indulge more than 6.2 seconds of food!

This diet is perfect for:

  • Humans who own pets
  • Binge drinkers
  • Sweetaholics
  • The techno-savvy
  • Priests and/or clergymen
  • Cinematographers
  • People with an eating disorder
  • South Africans
  • and more!

    If you have a smartphone and can download the Vine app, you are automatically pre-approved to start the The Vine Diet™. Once you've got the app installed, simply paypal me $99.99 to join The Official Vine Diet™ Eaters Club©. This is a club that meets digitally twice each month to discuss our Vines and how much weight we've lost because of them. Membership to the club includes:

  • Link to secret chatroom for the digital meetings
  • Pink mesh trucker hat with the official Vine Diet™ logo
  • 10 or more encouraging texts per calendar year
  • The Vine Diet™ snailmail newsletter
  • An "I VINE 4 WEIGHT LOSS" bumper sticker
  • and more (TBD)!

    Don't hesitate. It's time to LOSE WEIGHT. Join The Vine Diet™ movement today and start changing your life loop by loop by loop by loop...
  • 0 Comments

    Post a Comment